other worlds than these
by whikky
Summary: An epic love story that traverses dimensions and overcomes tragedy. Featuring a mysterious as hell Lilly, an extremely promiscuous but insightful Stacie, and a riff-off that leads to lady grinding. Guaranteed happy endings. No lemons. Bechloe with a small side of Staubrey.
1. Prologue

**Give this a chance. It starts sad as all hell, and doesn't get happy fast. But it will get happy.  
**

 **I rated this story M for language and adult content (ie suicide). There will be no smut whatsoever in this story. Sorry.**

* * *

 **Prologue**

 _Chloe had one hand on the wheel and was holding my hand with the other. Fat droplets of rain pelted the windshield as we left the party and our friends behind. Chloe had a smirk on her face as she watched the road knowing I was staring at her. I couldn't help it. Even after all these years her beauty still knocked me on my ass sometimes._

" _Beca, you're staring," she pointed out._

" _Can you blame me? You're freaking gorgeous," I replied with absolute sincerity._

" _Thanks babe. You're pretty damn gorgeous yourself," she turned and smiled at me and I swear I melted a little bit._

" _You really should watch the road you know," I said quickly, hoping she'd miss my obvious blush. Judging by that little grin she now wore she saw it, and knew exactly what I was doing._

" _Don't worry Becs, I got this," she squeezed my hand as she looked back at the road. I smiled and looked back out my window watching the familiar sights pass us by, thinking that it had to be against the law to be this happy._

 _When the world exploded around me, I didn't have time to think about the fact that I must have been right, and that this was the world righting itself again. I didn't even have time to look at the love of my life next to me. Before I could even scream, the world exploded again and stopped abruptly._

" _Beca," I heard Chloe say my name as if from very far away. "BECA!" She sounded frantic now, but it didn't touch me. I was floating. It took all of my willpower to look at her. When I did I saw that she had tears streaming down her cheeks and thought vaguely that it was ruining her makeup, and that angels shouldn't cry. "Beca, don't you dare leave me! I need you okay? Stay with me!"_

" _I love you." And then I was gone._

* * *

I woke up slowly to a steady beeping, a massive headache, and what felt like an elephant sitting on my chest. When I opened my eyes, the world was so bright it felt like someone was shining a freaking spotlight directly into my retinas. I winced reflexively as the pain spiked my headache.

"Beca?" I heard next to me, and realized that someone was holding my hand. "Beca, are you awake sweetie?"

The noise I made in response was somewhere between a yes, a cough, and a whimper as my throat protested the fact that I made any noise at all.

"Oh thank God, I'll go get the doctor," and the hand that was holding mine was suddenly gone. I used the time alone to try and get accustomed to the overly bright lights of what I now recognized was obviously a hospital room. I looked around and noticed the TV in the corner of the room was playing a rerun of Friends. There was a window with the shades drawn, and one other bed in the room that lay empty. I could hear the buzzing of the fluorescent lights overhead and the incessant chatter of Chandler Bing.

Next, I took stock of myself. I had a cast on my right arm, countless tubes and wires, an exceedingly annoying thing in my nose that I'm sure was there for a reason, but I ripped it out anyway. I swallowed a few times to try to ease the scratchiness of my throat, so I could at least say words when I was no longer alone.

A very short time later the door opened again and a short middle aged woman walked in with a stethoscope around her neck and a clipboard in her hands followed by a tall aging man with thinning hair and a short beard. My father.

"Rebecca, I'm Doctor Gibbons. I'm glad to see you awake, how are you feeling?"

I gestured to my throat area, and tried to speak. "Like shit."

"Beca, language!" My father admonished me, but he looked so happy to see me awake I could tell his heart wasn't in it. I just grinned at him.

"Where's Chloe?" I asked. Instantly, the mood in the room sobered. I looked at dad, then at the doc, and somehow I just knew. "No."

"Beca, honey, I'm so sorry."

"No!" My world was upside down. Tears were streaming down my face. I felt hollowed out.

"Rebecca, I'm very sorry for your loss. I know it doesn't change anything, but it was painless. She died instantly," Doctor Gibbons said.

That sobered me quickly. What was he talking about? I remember the accident. I remember her begging me to stay. She couldn't have died instantly.

"That's not possible!"

"I'm afraid it is Miss Mitchell. And I'm truly sorry."

"You don't understand. It's not possible. She was talking to me after the accident. She begged me to stay with her," I argued.

My father and the doctor exchanged a look, and the doctor excused herself.

"Becs, how much do you remember about the accident?"

"Not much. I remember holding Chloe's hand and looking out my window. I remember what felt like the world exploding, and shortly after it exploded again. Then I remember Chloe screaming for me to stay with her."

"If you were looking out of your window, why didn't you see the car that hit you?" my dad asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"A car hit us?"

"Yes baby, a car struck the driver's side after running a stop sign and pushed your car into a tree."

"How would I have seen the car coming? I wasn't driving."

"Beca, honey, the only reason you survived that car accident was because you were driving. If you had been the passenger, you would have been the one that ended up wrapped around that tree." With that, the bottom of my world dropped out again, and nothing made sense anymore.


	2. Five Months Later

**Five Months Later**

The morning sun rudely streamed through my bedroom window directly in to my sensitive, sleep deprived eyes. I blinked a few times to let my eyes adjust to the light, and groaned when I looked over to the alarm clock on my bedside table. 9 o'clock was way too early to be lucid. I sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes as my brain started catching up with the rest of me. It took me a moment, but when I realized what was wrong my heart started racing. I looked around in a panic and took in the room before me. My posters were still hanging on the wall, my TV was still sitting atop the dresser in the corner displaying the bouncing Sony logo from my DVD player, all of my photos and knick-knacks still displayed as they should have been. It was what was missing that had me believing that I must be going insane.

It was gone, all of it. Every bit of evidence that indicated I committed suicide the night before. The half empty bottle of tequila. The depleted bottle of my dad's sleeping pills. The note that explained, in no uncertain terms, that I couldn't live another day without her.

Did I hallucinate the suicide? If so, it was an extremely vivid hallucination. I remember writing the note while sober, tears rolling down my face and soaking the page before me. I remember using the tequila to help me down an entire bottle of sleeping pills, and then drinking so much more that my entire torso got warm and my head started getting really fuzzy. I remember getting into bed and waiting for oblivion.

Was I now dead, and this was the afterlife? If this was the afterlife, so far I was unimpressed. Everything looked to me exactly as it had yesterday, minus the batshit craziness of course. I wouldn't think life after death just became a replay of life, but what do I know? I'm just a fucked up kid that killed herself last night.

With my hands shaking, and my heart still beating 100 miles a minute (in my throat no less), I threw on some clothes from my floor and trudged downstairs.

I turned as I got to the bottom of the stairs and saw my father running on a treadmill in the middle of the living room.

"Hey kiddo, you look like you've seen a ghost!" My father, the jokester, chuckled. Honestly, he was pretty damn close to the truth.

Not knowing what to do, or say, I just grunted and headed into the kitchen. I pulled a carton of orange juice out of the fridge and chugged it while I tried to calm my jangled nerves. I heard the treadmill stop and my father's footsteps echoing down the hallway.

"You alright Beca?" my dad asked me. I set the carton down on the counter as I thought of how to respond. I mean, how am I supposed to answer that? No! I'm freaking out here! Everything is wrong! I'm going crazy! What is happening!? As a paragon of eloquence I decided on this:

"Yep. Why?"

My dad looked at me with his eyes slightly narrowed before he said, "Okay, just making sure. You seem a little off this morning."

"Nope, everything's fine. Peachy. Hunky dory," so yeah, I went a little overboard with the synonyms, but can you blame me? I felt like I was in a sci-fi movie. The tightening of dad's jaw and thinning of his lips indicated to me that he knew it too.

"Becs, I won't push, but I just want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. I'm here for you," my dad said sincerely. I'd heard nothing but these platitudes (sincere or not) for the last five months. I was sick of it.

"Thanks dad," is all I could trust myself to mutter. He walked over to me and pulled me into a not-quite bone-crushing hug. He patted me on the back a couple times before pulling away with his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye.

"Have you given any thoughts to what we talked about last night? You need a plan Beca. You can't just stay at home all day and do nothing."

That did it. I gritted my teeth and glared at him, tears threatening to fall. I nodded my head at him in acknowledgment and walked away. I needed to get some fresh air, so I headed outside.

Looking around the neighborhood I could see that nothing had changed. The Millers still had those stupid Halloween decorations in their front yard, even though Halloween was last week. The lesbian couple down the street, Dawn and Carol, had at least 7 cats sitting in various windows of their house watching the streets below. Chloe and I used to joke about how long it would take us to get that many cats. Mike next door was painstakingly maintaining his landscaping, and I could tell he'd already been at it for hours. He waved as I walked by, and I grudgingly waved back. Thankfully he didn't try to engage me in conversation. I wasn't in the mood.

I didn't have a destination in mind when I set out, but it was obvious after a few minutes where my feet were taking me. It always came back to this. To her. I wasn't even sure why I was doing this. I hadn't been back there in months. But with my day being as crazy as it was, I guess I just wanted to see something familiar. Even if it brought back all the heartbreak I'd been carrying since that night. And all the doubt.

It didn't take me long after leaving the hospital to come to grips with my potential insanity. After all, what did it matter? Chloe was gone, I was alone, and no matter how loose my hold on mental stability appeared to be, nothing was going to change that. My denial and heartache ran so deep, that I ignored the wrongness of everything around me. Until I could ignore it no longer.

I'm standing in the park where Chloe and I had spent a lot of our time sitting twisty style on the swings so we could look each other in the eyes. Talking about nothing, laughing about everything. I sat down in those swings where when we were in the 4th grade we realized we "liked, liked" each other. It seems so silly now, so childish, but it couldn't have been any cuter. We had been together so long that it was hard to remember a time when we were just Beca and just Chloe. We were a package deal. Joined at the hip. Two peas in a pod. But what it really boils down to is this: we were soulmates. It was kind of inevitable that we became Beca _and_ Chloe.

* * *

 _I pulled up to the house and parked in the front yard with everyone else. I turned the car off and got out, opening Chloe's door for her._

" _Opening doors for your lady tonight, huh?" she asked me with a wide smile on her face._

" _I have to keep you around somehow. If all it takes is opening a couple car doors and telling you that you look pretty, I'll suffer through it."_

" _It's gonna take more than that, babe. I'm gonna need chocolates, and skinny dipping in McKeller's Pond, and helicopter rides, and… and…" I put my hand behind her neck and pulled her to me in a searing kiss. After a moment I released her and smiled. She looked slightly breathless and her eyes were a little unfocused._

" _I don't know about helicopter rides," I told her with a sad smile, "but I can give you this." I got down on one knee and reached into my pocket._

 _"Oh my god!" she said breathlessly until she saw that I was pulling out a Hershey's Kiss. Then she glared at me. "You jerk!"_

 _I couldn't help laughing. "Sweetie, you just said all you need was chocolate and skinning dipping and helicopter rides. Here's the chocolate," and I gave it to her with a flourish. "I'll take you skinny dipping later. And I promise you, someday I'll take you on that helicopter ride."_

" _I'm going to hold you to that." She was still glaring at me, but with the red tint to her cheeks I could tell she wasn't really mad. Maybe disappointed, but I'd make up for that later. The ring was still in the car. She popped the chocolate into her mouth, and took my hand as we headed into the house for our graduation night party._

* * *

I never did get to keep that promise. I was never able to give her the ring either. I thought I had more time. But that was the night it all came crashing down. That was the night my soul died. Because how can a soul survive when half of it is missing.

I sat on the swing for a while, staring at nothing. Lost in memories. Trying not to break down. Ignoring the kids playing on the playground. Ignoring the odd looks from parents. Oblivious to the world around me. Trying to wrap my head around this bizarre situation I found myself in, but finding no immediate answers.

I don't know how long I sat there, but after quite a while I stood up and was going to head home when I was hit from the side and knocked to the ground. I looked up and saw Chloe's little brother William frowning at me.

"Sorry about that, are you okay?" He asked me, looking very apologetic.

"Geez Billy, watch where you're going. That hurt," I told him. I stood up and dusted myself off, missing the confused expression on his face.

"How do you know my name? Do I know you?"

My heart skipped a beat and I looked at him closely. Seeing no obvious signs of recognition, I realized my day was about to get weirder.

"Umm… I guess not?" I replied uncertainly.

"Okay then, bye," he shrugged and ran off leaving me standing on the playground with a frightened expression. I immediately took off running, my heart thundering in my chest. There is only one place I could go right now. One thing I had to see.

It was happening again. The world was tilted on its axis. The last time this happened I knew I had to be crazy. Grief must have played a part in my screwed up perception of the world. Now, I knew differently. Now, I knew that I'd died twice. I hadn't been driving that car. Somewhere, the love of my life was alive and mourning me and I was lost to her forever. But in this world I now found myself in, maybe I had another chance. Maybe here she was alive too.

This was all running through my head as I sprinted to her house. I was silently praying to whoever was listening that I was right. That somehow in the fun house mirror world I found myself in, she was okay.

I stumbled to a stop across the street with my hands on my knees gasping for air and it's like not a day had gone by since the last time I was here. Nothing has changed. And everything has changed. This used to be like my second home. Since the moment I met her and she became everything, I'd come hang out here with her and her family. I was their second daughter. It seemed inevitable that I would become their daughter-in-law. Her brother William was like the little brother I'd never had. Chloe and I were the only ones who could get away with calling him Billy.

I took a moment to steel my courage (and my lungs) before I marched across the street. I knocked on her door and waited.

Her mother, Anita, opened the door. She smiled kindly and said, "Yes, can I help you?"

Seems she didn't know me either. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes trying to calm my racing heart, and when I opened them I asked her, "Is Chloe here?"

"No dear, she's not. Does she know you?"

With my eyes threatening to release enough moisture to make Niagra jealous, I ignored her question in favor of one of my own. "Do you know when she'll be back?"

"Well, she's at school right now…"

I didn't hear anything else she said because the blood was pounding in my head so loudly. I slowly backed away, or more accurately, stumbled from the front door. I was vaguely aware of the concerned expression Anita had as she slowly walked toward me, but I waved her off and started walking home. When I was safely out of sight I let the tears come. But for the first time in 5 months, they weren't tears of anguish. They were tears of joy and relief and I couldn't help myself from bawling my eyes out and laughing my head off like a crazy person all the way home.

When I got there I noticed my father's car missing from the driveway, so I launched myself upstairs and landed face first on my bed. There was a warmth in my chest that hadn't been there since graduation. There was a weight lifted off of my shoulders. I felt immersed in what could only be described as hope.

I refused to think too deeply on the current situation out of fear that I'd break whatever fragile stroke of fate brought me here. It is what it is, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, and all of that other crap. I was here, Chloe was alive, and I was going to make the most of it. I had a second chance and I was going to seize it and hold on to it for as long as I could.

I logged onto Facebook to do a little "light" cyber-stalking. I had to know what I was dealing with. The first thing I noticed was that we weren't friends. But Chloe being Chloe, her page was open to everyone.

Relationship status: It's complicated… well shit. That does complicate things.

We'd planned on going to Los Angeles together. Me to work on my music, and her to attend UCLA. I knew her first choice was Barden University, but UCLA was a close second and minor sacrifice for us to be together. I wasn't surprised to find out she was attending Barden. Well, I would just have to use my connections, aka my dad, to get me in. Music would have to wait.

Also, what the hell are the Barden Bellas?


	3. Operation: Barden Infiltration

**Operation: Barden Infiltration**

"That's a wonderful idea Becs! Why the change of heart?" My dad asked excitedly, but with a curious lift of his eyebrow.

"Like you said, I can't just sit on my ass all day. So I figured I'd start preparing for my future or whatever." I couldn't tell him the real reason, obviously. It was just too crazy, and would have me in a straitjacket or something.

"Alright then. The next semester starts in a couple months, and we'll get…"

"No!" my sudden exclamation obviously caught my dad by surprise, if the comical way his eyebrows hit his hairline was any indication. "I mean, umm… I'd just like to get started sooner rather than later." I followed this up with a completely uncharacteristic, at least for me, puppy dog expression.

My father just stared at me for a moment or two, still with those ridiculously raised brows. At last, his expression softened and I knew I'd won. "Alright Beca. If it's that important to you, I'll see what I can do. No promises."

"Thank you!" and I grabbed him in a hug. Again, I caught him by surprise, but it didn't take him long to return the gesture.

"You're welcome. I told you, I'm here for you no matter what."

It took a week or so, but my father managed to pull some, according to him at least, significant strings to get me enrolled in the university where he teaches comparative literature about a month after the semester had started. I had a lot of catching up to do, but there was a lot at stake. I'd make it work.

"You ready for this?" my dad asked me as he pulled up just outside Baker Hall. I pulled my headphones from down around my ears and looked around campus. It was relatively early on a Sunday morning, so there weren't many people walking around. It looked peaceful.

"As I'll ever be." I looked at him and said with a little less enthusiasm than he was apparently hoping for. I decided to take a little bit of pity on him, and gave him my most genuinely thankful smile. "Thanks for this dad. Seriously."

His face lit back up. Man, he was easy to please. "You're welcome Becs. Need help moving in, or are you too cool to have your old man hanging around?"

"Dude, please, spare me the embarrassment of showing up with a freaking professor on my first day!"

Dad just burst out laughing. "Fair enough. How about we grab lunch this week after you've settled in?"

"Sure, I can do that. See ya!" I got out of the car and grabbed my stuff. With a final wave goodbye, I walked to my new dorm room.

* * *

The hallways were a bit more crowded than campus, but I was still able to climb the two flights of stairs and find my room number with relative ease and knocked on the door. It was opened seconds later by an exceptionally gorgeous, and tall, brunette with a smile on her face.

"Umm…hey, I'm Beca," I said nervously. She squealed. Literally squealed and pulled me into the room.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so excited! I was so bummed when I got here and didn't have a roommate! And look at you, you're so cute! We're going to have so much fun this year," she ended her adorable little rant with a huge smile and clapped her hands together. I'm not ashamed to admit that I was a little terrified.

"Okay then. I don't really know what to say to all that, but it's nice to meet you?"

"Stacie."

"Stacie. Nice to meet you."

"Same here! So, what are you studying?"

"I'm going to be a music major. You?"

"Music? Do you sing? Oh my gosh, you totally have to try out for the Bellas with me! They are an all-girl acappella group here on campus. Wanna come?"

That got my attention. Chloe would be there. I decided to play it cool.

"Yes!" Dammit. So much for playing it cool. Let's try that again. "I mean, yes. Uh, yeah when?"

"Yay! Right now! Let's go!"

* * *

And that was how I found myself standing outside the auditorium waiting to see Chloe. And I guess to audition for an acapella group. Whatever, it could be fun.

"Beca Mitchell," I raised my hand when I heard Tommy say my name, "You're up next."

"Thanks," but he had already turned away.

Stacie turned to me and took my hands misunderstanding my nervousness to be about the fact I was going to sing in front of a crowd. "Breathe. You're going to be just fine."

I smiled at her and gave her a quick nod before walking out to the stage with my heart beating double time in my throat. Hook a stethoscope up to some speakers and you'd be getting some badass dubstep right about now. And that was _before_ I saw her.

Five months. Five months of her being dead. Five months of thinking that I was crazy. Five months of a hell on earth so painful I ended my own life. Five months that no longer mattered when I saw her sitting there with that fucking killer smile on her face that always made me weak in the knees. Now it was making me weak for a different reason. Because there was none of the warmth and love in that smile that I had grown so accustomed to. In its place was a smile reserved for a stranger. And it was directed at me.

"Umm… I didn't know we had to prepare that song," were my first words to her. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"That's okay, just sing whatever you want," were her first words to me. Off to a great start there Mitchell. Classic.

Then I had a brilliant idea. I remembered that stupid cup song her and I used to sing together, and decided to roll with it. The whole time, I didn't take my eyes off of her. When I was done, her smile had gotten bigger, and a small measure of the usual warmth was there. It broke my heart a little as I walked away. From the first glimpse of those impossibly blue eyes I had begun to doubt. This wasn't my Chloe. Yes, this was Chloe Marie Beale. Yes, they were essentially the same person. But they really weren't. Were they? This was something that I had thought very little about until now, choosing instead to focus on the fact that Chloe was alive. But now, the depression I'd sunk into since that terrible graduation night had begun to seep back in.

"Beca, oh my freaking god that was amazing!" Stacie grabbed me as soon as I walked off stage and pulled me abruptly from my thoughts. Her enthusiasm was infectious though.

"Thanks Stace, you up next?"

"Yep, wish me luck!" And she marched on stage with an exaggerated sexy strut. Not that I was looking. No way man.

"Good luck!" I decided to wait around for her to finish her audition.

"You were so good!"

I turned to look at the guy who had walked up while I wasn't paying much attention. Average height, cute in a boy band kind of way, with short brown hair. He was smiling widely at me.

"Uh, thanks," I said and immediately turned back to watch Stacie.

"I'm Jesse. I haven't seen you around before."

"Beca. I just got here today," I said without turning.

"Well, we should totally hang out sometime. You're one of those aca-girls, and I'm one of those aca-boys, and we're gonna have aca-children. It's inevitable."

I turned to look at him, and I'm sure the look on my face was comical. Because despite the fact that I was actually angered by his presumptuous and inappropriate statement, I couldn't quite remove the slack jawed surprise that came with it.

"Dude, I don't even know you! Back off and let me watch my friend audition please."

I ignored his somewhat adorable kicked-puppy face, and turned back to catch the end of Stacie's performance. Which, despite the over-the-top sexual energy she put into it, was actually quite good.

"Sorry, I, uh, I'll just… see you later Beca." Without waiting for a response Jesse walked off with his head bowed and shoulders slumped. I wasn't sorry to see him go.

Stacie came bouncing off stage and gave me a sexy smirk. I mean a regular smirk. Totally not sexy. Just a normal, run of the mill, smirk.

"So, what did you think?"

"Honestly, you're a damn good singer. The aggressive sexuality though detracts from the performance a bit," I grinned back at her.

She appeared a little taken aback. I was kinda worried I actually offended her. Then, that sexy (not sexy dammit!) smirk was back.

"I can't help it. He's a hunter," and she gestured to her junk. Seriously?

"You call it a dude?"

She rolled her eyes and shrugged as she linked her arms with mine and guided us back to our dorm.

* * *

 **A/N I'm not going to beg you guys for reviews and favorites or anything like that. But I will say that if you want to make suggestions, ask for clarifications (or suggest fixes), or anything else of the sort feel free to leave a review or message me. Until next time, we out!**


	4. The Build Up To Breaking

**The Build Up To Breaking  
**

It was 2 weeks after the accident that I realized I was no longer in the hospital. Or I'm guessing it was two weeks. I had been practically catatonic since I lost Chloe. But this morning when I woke up, I actually took in my surroundings for the first time. I was back in my room. Also, who gives a shit?

It was another few days after that, I'm not sure how many because the passage of time meant nothing to me anymore. Neither did anything else for that matter, but I digress. It was an indeterminate number of days later that I finally mustered the will to leave my room for reasons other than biological.

I shuffled down the stairs wrapped in my blanket, wearing the same dirty pajamas I'd been wearing for 'can't remember so insert random number of days here'. I stared unseeingly at my feet as each step brought me closer to the last. I stood on the first floor landing, still staring at my feet, shivering despite the blanket and the relative warmth of the house, when I heard my dad speak up next to me.

"Beca," my dad said gently, like I was a wounded bird that might try to fly off and injure itself worse if he scared it. He probably wasn't far off in his estimations.

When I didn't move, reply, or acknowledge his presence at all, he moved to stand in front of me. He raised his hands as if to touch me, but thought better of it at the last moment and let his arms drop. His shoulders slumped in defeat, and if I cared at all I'd have tried… I don't know. But I would have tried something. The rock solid wall around my emotions was holding strong. It was the only thing that kept me from breaking down completely. I knew if a single crack formed in that wall, I'd be lost forever.

I suddenly had an idea. This was miraculous because I didn't even allow myself to have thoughts let alone ideas, but this one just filtered through uninvited, but welcome nonetheless.

Without taking my eyes off of my feet, I continued my shuffle into the kitchen. I vaguely registered the presence of my father trailing behind me, but it was barely a blip on my radar. For the first time in weeks I had a mission. And I was determined, well, as determined as an emotionless husk could possibly be, to complete my noble quest.

Alcohol. Glorious, brain numbing alcohol. I trudged to the liquor cabinet, grabbed a random bottle, and was heading back to my room when my father found the courage to touch me. His hands grabbed my upper arms to stop me gently.

"Sweetheart, please don't," he begged me. When I failed to respond he tilted my chin up with his fingertip and forced me to look at him. I recognized the moment when he knew that there would be no getting through to me because his face crumpled in utter despair. I can imagine what he saw in my eyes that caused his reaction. Absolutely nothing. He released me and turned quickly away, but not before I saw the tear fall down his face. I looked back down at my feet, and went back to my room where I proceeded to drink that whole fucking bottle of heavenly oblivion and did my best to make sure it stayed inside of me instead of in the damn toilet. I wasn't entirely successful.

* * *

No one believed me. If I could bring myself to care, I'd probably be hurt. But facts are facts. If I hadn't been driving, I'd be dead. Since I'm not dead, I couldn't have been driving. Cold hard facts. Try telling that to my memories though. It was bad enough that I was crippled, consumed, and devastated by grief. Now I was also beginning to hope that I was crazy on top of it. Because the alternative was even scarier.

I'd lost a lot of weight at this point. My father could no longer be bothered to pay attention to my deteriorating mental and physical health. Ever since the day I grabbed that bottle of booze he'd seemed to wash his hands of me. That suited me just fine.

Shuffling myself downstairs became a new ritual. When I finished a bottle of booze, the next morning I'd get another one. When the booze was all gone, I started in on the medicine cabinet. Lots of good shit in there. When the pills were gone, it was mouth wash and rubbing alcohol. Anything to quiet the raging voice in my head that kept telling me that Chloe was driving. That she couldn't be dead. That I was supposed to be dead. That this god forsaken world didn't make fucking sense without her in it.

It was when I ran out of mouth wash and rubbing alcohol that it started to happen. The cracks in my walls were starting to form. I was surprisingly able to hold myself together for a couple more days after that, but that was it. The careful control I held over my emotions was done, and the breakdowns had commenced. Instantly, the guilt overwhelmed me. Because I finally acknowledged to myself that I must have killed her.

In between the panic attacks, full blown emotional outbursts, and explosions of anger aimed everywhere and nowhere, I was crying pretty much nonstop. I wasn't aware the human body was capable of producing so many tears, or surviving the emotional strain mine was currently under. Most of my shit was now broken, ripped, or shattered on my bedroom floor. My father no longer looked at me. I no longer had any visits from friends, friends of friends, or anyone else for that matter. I was completely and utterly alone.

* * *

"Hey Chlo. I miss you so god damn much it hurts. It hurts so bad," I whispered. Tears were falling down my cheeks. I was on my knees in the damp grass in front of her headstone. White lilies lay scattered in front of it. Her favorites. I bought them before I came here. I was clutching my stomach because it felt like I'd been punched in the gut. An almost constant feeling for the last few months.

"I can't do this anymore babe. I just can't. I know how disappointed you're going to be in me. I know it. But it doesn't change anything. I'm not strong enough. And I don't want to be," I choked on a sob and closed my eyes tightly. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I got you killed. And I'm sorry for what I have to do next. I hope you can forgive me."

By now my body was being violently wracked by sobs as I stood up with damp knees and ran home. The bottle of tequila I purchased for the occasion was in my jacket pocket, and my dad's sleeping pills were hidden in the drawer of my night table. All that was left was to write the note, and hope I'd see her again.


	5. Gut Punch

**Gut Punch**

"Beca? Beca wake up!"

I jerked awake at the sound of my roommate's voice, Chloe's frantic scream still ringing in my ears. I looked up at Stacie seeing she was sitting on my bed with a concerned expression on her face and she was running her fingers through my hair soothingly.

"Are you okay? Bad dream?"

"I'm fine Stace. Thanks," I gave her a halfhearted smile and sat up in bed causing her to drop her hand from my hair. It was nice, but it was awkward for me since it reminded me of when Chloe used to do the same thing after I lost my mom.

"Sure. Who's Chloe?" Stacie asked me innocently. I could feel the blood rush to my face and tried to stutter out an answer at hearing the unexpected name from Stacie's lips.

"C-Chloe? Umm… why do you ask?"

She just smirked at me with a knowing look and said, "No reason. You were just saying her name in your sleep. You know, during your nightmare? She an ex or something?"

"Or something," I mumbled under my breath. I could tell she heard me though when I saw the triumphant smile on her face. "Dude, forget everything you heard. Please?" I begged her. The desperation in my voice must have been what made her cave. Either that, or she's just a good friend.

"Of course! But, I am here if you want to talk Beca. I won't judge. I promise." The earnestness in her voice surprised me.

"I might take you up on that someday Conrad. Just not today. I'm running late for class," I told her, giving her a warm smile. "Oh, and can you PLEASE start putting a sock on the doorknob or something! Last night was like the 5th time I've walked in on you and one of your boy toys." I mock glared at her as I threw on some clothes from my closet.

"What? You didn't like the show?" she retorted with a look of exaggerated innocence on her face.

"Eww, no!"

Stacie just laughed like what I said was hysterical and sat down on her bed to start painting her toenails. "Later B Mitch." She called out to me as I grabbed my bag and headed out the door.

"See ya Stace."

As soon as I closed the door behind me I leaned my back against it. That dream had shaken me more than I'd been letting on. I could feel the familiar moisture gathering behind my eyes as the muscles in my entire body were tensing up. I shut my eyes tightly and concentrated on my breathing to hold off the impending panic attack. My fingernails were digging furrows into my palms from being clenched so tightly, but after awhile they started to ease up and I could breathe normally again. I looked around, and seeing the hallway deserted I walked to the stairs to head to class. I was definitely late now.

I popped out the door of Baker Hall and the sun hit me full force in the face like a freaking hammer blow. Damn it was bright out. I needed to get some sunglasses. I shielded my eyes and let myself adjust to the brightness as I continued hustling to my morning Music Theory class.

"Beca, wait up!" I heard someone call from behind me. It was that dude from auditions, Jake or something. I forget. He was annoying anyway. I didn't slow down but I did wave slightly in acknowledgement.

"Whoa, slow down. Where are you headed in such a hurry?" This kid was persistent.

"Class. And I'm running late."

"Cool, cool. I'll walk with you. Where are we headed?"

I just pointed vaguely in the direction I was walking without answering.

"You're kinda hard to talk to, anyone ever told you that?" he asked accusingly.

I just glared at him and picked up my pace without responding. I didn't have time to fight with some random dude that was being way too familiar with me. I thought about telling him to fuck off, but decided to be more mature than that. So I flipped him off instead.

* * *

I was heading to the cafeteria during my lunch break, thinking about what I'd learned in class that morning that I could apply to my own music, when I saw my Chloe reading a book at a table by herself. _This is my chance_ , I thought. I hustled over to the food line, grabbed a sandwich, an apple, and a bottle of water, and after I paid I started walking over to her table.

"Hey, mind if I sit?" I asked her. As she looked up I could tell she was surprised by the interruption. But a wide smile spread across her face when she saw it was me.

"Hey! Beca right?" I nodded with a smile that she remembered my name. She grabbed my hands with hers. "Please, sit! Your audition was so totes incredible! I can't wait to get you in the Bellas. It's going to be so fun. We'll be hanging out all the time since Bellas rehearsals are like, always, so we're going to be really fast friends."

I sat down a little stunned at her adorable rambling. There was a happy little flutter in my stomach as I recognized one of my favorite Chloe-quirks, and couldn't help the slight tremble in my lip as I smiled at her.

"Thanks. I'm not a Bella yet though."

"You will be, I'll make sure of it," and she winked at me. She winked at me! That little gesture caused a blush I tried to hide by ducking my head and taking a bite of my sandwich. As I was chewing, something occurred to me.

"Chloe, how are you already a Bella? I mean, aren't you a freshman?"

She gave me an odd look. "How did you know I was a freshman?"

Woops. "Umm…that's a freshman textbook right?" Grasping at straws, I pointed to the book she'd been reading.

"Oh yeah, you're perceptive!" I breathed a silent sigh of relief. "So, my roommate Aubrey, she's like, my best friend and a sophomore, was a Bella last year. All the other Bella's graduated, so she's the captain now. Anyway, she heard me sing and made me a Bella like, my first day here. I'm kind of her co-captain now. I'll make sure you get in."

"Cool. Thanks. It sounds fun," I glanced shyly up at her and hoped my gawking wasn't too obvious.

"Oh, it's totes fun. You're going to love it."

I tried not to, but I lost myself in her eyes for a moment. Those eyes I knew so well. That I'd spent hours of my life gazing into. Those eyes were my home. I was almost overcome with the emotion of gazing into them again when a guy sitting down next to Chloe broke my concentration.

"Hey babe, miss me?" He asked her before leaning in to kiss her lips. I schooled my expression into the most welcoming smile I could muster as my world bottomed out.

"Of course I did! Oh, Tom! This is Beca. She's totally going to be a Bella! Beca, this is my boyfriend Tom," as she introduced him she gazed at him with the most loving expression that used to be reserved for only me. As the jealousy flooded my system, I was reminded again that this was not my Chloe. This was not my world. And something was very wrong here.

* * *

I was too distraught after that heartbreaking lunch, so I just headed back to my dorm. I barged through the door and threw my bag against the wall. Then I grabbed my hair and screamed in frustration.

"Beca! Are you okay?"

I was so startled that I squeaked a little bit. I wasn't expecting Stacie to be home. Or for her to have company. Without a sock on the doorknob. Again.

"Dammit Stacie! Why is there not a sock on the doorknob!" I yelled at her and wore my most ferocious scowl. Stacie looked extremely taken aback.

"Drew, you better go," she said without even looking at him.

"It's Justin."

"That's what I said," she waved distractedly, still without looking at him. She walked slowly towards me with her arms out to her sides non-threateningly. "Beca, I'm sorry about the sock thing. I'll do better from now on. What's wrong?"

Justin saw me gearing up for a meltdown, and wisely fled before I could get started, shutting the door behind him.

"What's wrong!? What's wrong!? What isn't wrong! I killed the love of my life in a car accident five months ago. Except I wasn't driving, and I was the one who died, and now she has a fucking boyfriend! I killed myself but now I'm here and everything is so messed up! I don't know if I can do this anymore! I just… I can't…" I started hyperventilating, and my vision was extremely blurry from the tears streaming down my face. Stacie, to her credit, took all of that in stride and pulled me into her arms tightly.

"Shh…it's okay Becs. It's okay. Just breathe. That's it. Just breathe."

I listened to the sound of her voice and took comfort from her embrace.

After I calmed down, we sat side by side on the floor with her arm around me and my head on her shoulder. I passionlessly told her my story, not really giving a shit anymore if I ended up in a mental hospital. I'd just have to trust that Stacie wouldn't do that to me.

"And then he fucking kissed her. Right in front of me! I never wanted to rip someone's face off as bad as I did in that moment."

Stacie was silent for a couple of minutes as she processed everything I'd said. While I waited for her to tell me I'd needed help or to quietly excuse herself from our room to call someone to have me committed, I wasn't expecting what she said instead.

"Well, it seems to me like this is simple."

I looked up at her curiously, but didn't say anything.

She just grinned down at me and said, "Let's get you the girl."

My jaw must have dropped because she just started giggling. "Don't look so surprised shorty. I'm a physics major. While I may not fully believe everything you've said…yet…I do believe it's possible, so I will withhold judgment for now. Besides, if you're telling the truth, it's like, the most epic love story ever! Traveling to alternate worlds just to be reunited with the love of your life? And you can bet your cute butt that I'm going to help!"


	6. We Have A Freaking Moment

**We Have A Freaking Moment**

It was aca-initiation night, and after being sworn in as a Bella and drinking Boone's Farm from a shared goblet, the party was officially in full swing. Stacie wouldn't let me stick to the fringes where I was comfortable, so I found myself being drug around the party crowd by my elbow and mingling with fellow aca-people (so freaking embarrassing). Which has put me so far out of my comfort zone I'm sure the forced smile on my face looked more like a grimace.

"Beca, loosen up. We're here to have fun girlie. Here, drink this," and she shoved the red plastic cup she'd been drinking from into my hands, where a bit sloshed over the sides and onto my combat boots. Shrugging my shoulder, I took a sip thinking it was beer and coughed at the taste of vodka as it burned my throat more than I was expecting.

"Ugh, dammit Stace, I thought this was a beer. Worn a girl next time," I complained, dropping the forced smile and keeping the grimace.

Stacie just laughed at my predicament, "I thought you could hold your liquor. Sorry about that." The mischievous grin on her face showed just how sorry she really wasn't. At that moment music started playing and the party got loud with everybody singing along. I couldn't help the uncomfortable laugh that bubbled up because this was by far the nerdiest thing I'd ever seen. That was followed shortly by the incredibly awkward realization that I was now a part of this freakshow. That sobered me up pretty quickly.

"Stace, remind me why I'm doing this stupid acapella thing again?"

"Because you needed a way to get close to your soulmate in order to steal her from the boyfriend she appears to be in love with so you can live happily ever after?"

I glanced at her contemplatively, "In that case…" and busted out singing and dancing with the rest of these aca-nerds. Stacie was quickly swept up into my newfound exuberance, and started singing and dancing with me. I'd never admit it to anyone, but I hadn't had this much fun in a very long time.

"Beca!" I heard a very familiar voice shout from behind me. I turned with a huge smile on my face just as a flying ball of ginger launched herself into my very willing arms. I immediately melted into the embrace, feeling like I was home for the first time since this whole mess began. "I told you I'd make sure you were a Bella," she whispered in my ear. I bit down on my lip to suppress the whimper that threatened to escape and just nodded my head. I didn't want the hug to end, and it appeared Chloe was in no hurry to end it either, but we were yanked out of the moment by a throat clearing behind me. I turned and glared at Stacie as Chloe pulled out of my arms, and Stacie gave me a sheepish and apologetic look gesturing over Chloe's shoulder with a nod of her head. I turned and understood her interference. Tom was coming this way. I looked at Chloe and noticed she had a puzzled look on her face as she stared back at me with a confused smile.

"Hey, I've been looking everywhere for you," Tom said as he walked up and wrapped his arms around Chloe from behind. She appeared startled and a little upset at having been broken out of her thoughts, but turned and looked over her shoulder at him with a smile.

"I was just talking to our newest Bella. You remember Beca right?" Chloe asked after she pecked him on the lips in greeting.

"Of course. Hey Beca. Congratulations," and dammit if he didn't look genuine.

"Thanks Tom. I'll see you later Chloe," I said as I gave her a sad smile. She looked disappointed for a moment before it was covered up by a smile.

"Later Beca," and with that, Tom pulled her away in the opposite direction. But not before she looked over her shoulder at me and gave me a wink.

"Holy shit. This is going to be so easy," Stacie breathed, scaring the shit out of me as I was lost in the moment with Chloe. I hadn't noticed her coming to stand next to me. She was watching Chloe walk away with Tom with a look of awe on her face before turning to look at me. "That was like, some serious chemistry. I've never seen anything like it before! We are going to have you in that girls pants before the week is up!"

"Dude, no! I don't want to just get in her pants. She is so much more to me than that, I thought you understood!"

"Sorry Becs, sex is my default setting. Of course she's more, and we're going to make sure she stays that way, I promise," she looked sorry, so I let it go. I looked at her with gratitude, and squeezed her hand.

"Thank you Stace. Seriously. I don't know what I would do without you."

"Oh, I'm sure you'd manage. Horribly, I'm guessing. But you'd manage."

"Dick," I mumbled as I swatted her shoulder, causing her to laugh hysterically.

* * *

Stacie had ditched me. I expected it, so it was no big deal. I warned her to stay away from Trebles because I didn't want to do this Bellas thing without her and I wasn't sure how serious the blonde general was with her no-Trebles rule. She agreed with obvious regret at having her options limited, and left me with a happy wave.

That was when the dude I'd begun to think of as a stalker plopped down next to me.

"So, I think we should start over because I am clearly awesome and think you should give me a chance."

"Oh you do, do you?" I asked him, my voice dripping with obvious sarcasm. The sarcasm was obviously lost on him however because he just nodded his head eagerly.

"Yes! Like, we could go to a movie and get some popcorn and just hang out!"

"I don't even like movies."

"What? How can you not like movies!? That's like hating fun."

"They are just too predictable. The guy gets the girl, the good guy wins, Darth Vader is Luke's father." Of course I couldn't tell him that I hated movies because that was my mom and I's "thing". Every day after school we'd sit on the couch, me snuggled tightly to her side, while we ate popcorn and watched a movie together. Yes, movies were too predictable. But I didn't watch them anymore because I would inevitably be reminded of my mom, and that would lead to tears. Better if they are just avoided.

"Beca, are you listening to me?" I must have zoned out because I'd stopped paying attention.

"Not really. I kinda zoned out for a minute," I confessed with zero guilt.

"Oh. Well, what do you say to that date? Movie, popcorn, hanging out?" He was nothing if not persistent, but apparently a terrible listener.

"I just got done telling you I hate movies, and you want to take me out on a date to a movie? Isn't that a recipe for disaster?"

"Nope. I think I can change your mind!" He grinned proudly, and, even worse, cockily. Is that a word? Cockily? Whatever, if it isn't it should be because it fits here.

I turned and gave him my fiercest glare, which, if I'm being honest is pretty fierce. "Are you serious right now!? You ask me on a date, and the first thing you want to do is change me? How fucked up are you dude?"

"Wait, what? Umm…" he sputtered, obviously trying to figure out where he went wrong and how to take back control of the situation. His inebriation wasn't helping matters.

"Let me make this super clear for you, and I hope that you remember this in the morning: I am not interested in you. There is absolutely no chance I will ever date you. I'm in love with someone else, and my heart will always be hers even if she rejects me. So back. The fuck. Off. Got it?"

"Wait, hers?" All those words, and he latches on to one of them. I groan in frustration and storm away, leaving a confused yet contemplative stalker behind.

* * *

I get back to the dorm around one in the morning and bang my head against the wall when I see that Stacie has finally taken the sock on the doorknob rule to heart.

"You've got to be kidding me." I say out loud, but under my breath, aware that everyone in the rooms around me is probably sleeping. I slide down the wall and plop myself on the floor, pulling out my cell phone to surf the internet while I wait. I start nodding off, and am awoke a short time later by the door being opened and a nervous brunette with hair down to her shoulders wearing glasses walks out. She glances at me and starts in surprise before hurrying off and disappearing.

I get up off the floor and enter my room and see Stacie under her covers, obviously naked, looking like the cat that ate the canary. I just smirk at her and get ready for bed.

"I didn't know you swung that way Stace."

"I told you before Becs, _he's_ a hunter," she grinned sexily at me and winked. I sputtered and crawled into bed ignoring that dangerous comment completely.

The next day at rehearsals started rather strangely. We were informed by the blonde Nazi that Kori had been kicked out of the group for being Treble-boned.

"Mary Elise, is there something you'd like to confess?" asked Aubrey as she stopped beside Mary Elise's chair.

Mary Elise glanced at Stacie, but Stacie was avoiding her eyes. I could tell the brunette was starting to panic and my roommate wasn't helping. With no one speaking up, she stood up at Aubrey's gesture and started to leave the room. "Take your chair," Aubrey said. Mary Elise grabbed her chair and began to drag it from the room.

"Wait!" Shit. Shit, shit, shit. What was I doing? Aubrey was looking at me with obvious suspicion. When I chanced a glance at Chloe, she just looked curious. "Umm… you see, uh, Mary Elise wasn't Treble-boned last night." Stacie glanced sharply at me with wide eyes, while Aubrey's suspicion deepened. "She was with me."


	7. Aca-Awkward

**Aca-Awkward**

Needless to say, the rest of rehearsal was pretty awkward after that less than auspicious beginning. Aubrey spent most of her time glaring at me when she wasn't yelling at us for every mistake. Chloe was uncharacteristically subdued. I caught her looking at me a couple of times like a kicked puppy when she thought I wasn't looking. A development I thought was promising, but a little worrying. Stacie just looked confused, and a little bit grateful. Mary Elise, however, was following me around like a baby duckling and kept giving me these looks of over-the-top gratefulness that were making me severely uncomfortable.

"Beca, a word?" I heard Aubrey call out as practice was ending.

I took a long sip from my water bottle and nodded my head as I said, "What's up?"

"You know you'll have to take those ear monstrosities out for the Fall Mixer."

"You realy don't like me, do you?" I asked challengingly. Seriously, what was this girls problem?

"I don't like your attitude."

"You don't even know me," I say incredulously.

"I know you have a toner for Jesse."

I was confused. Who the hell is Jesse? "Who the hell is Jesse? And what is a toner?"

"A toner. A musical boner. I saw it at Hood Night. It's distracting."

"Okay…" I said with furrowed brows. "I don't even now a Jesse, so that's not a thing."

Now Aubrey looked confused and a little taken aback. That is, before she straightened her back and the scowl returned with a vengeance. "Don't lie to me Beca," the way she said my name made it sound like an accusation, "I saw you talking to him!"

I returned her scowl, "I didn't talk to any guys that night Aubrey," and then it came to me, "except for when Stacie abandoned me and that stalker dude got overly familiar again. Is that who you're talking about? God Aubrey, that is so not cool. That guy keeps showing up and acting like the two of us hooking up is inevitable and I keep telling him to fuck off! He's driving me nuts! And it is extremely unfair of you to treat me like this because of it. I'm here putting in the time and effort just the same as the rest of these girls. I'm here because I want to be. And I don't appreciate this. I don't deserve it. And don't worry, I'll leave my 'ear monstrosities' at home."

After having said my piece, and glaring for good measure, I turned on my heels and marched out. I completely missed Aubrey's abashed look as I stormed away.

I'd barely gotten through the door when I was accosted by Mary Elise. She stood in front of me with a huge smile on her face. "Hey."

"Umm…hi," I said suspiciously.

"Thank you for what you did. I know it probably wasn't easy, but I appreciate it. I really, really didn't want to leave."

"Don't mention it. Like, ever," I said with emphasis on the 'ever'. She must have gotten the message because she quickly nodded her head and left, still with that smile on her face and waving over her shoulder.

* * *

"What the hell Stacie!" I shouted at my roommate later that day after classes. "Why didn't you speak up at rehearsals today? You could have saved me a ton of embarrassment and her too!"

She looked suitably chastened and mumbled something under her breath.

"What was that? You sounded way too much like Lilly there Stace."

"I said, I'm not ready to come out yet!" she shouted at me, and I was stunned. Also, now _I_ felt a little bit guilty.

"Oh. Sorry Stace. I just assumed… sorry."

She looked up at me, and after studying my face for a few moments and seeing what I guess she wanted to see, she stood up and wrapped me in a hug.

"Ugh, get off! You know I hate being touched!"

She just giggled into my shoulder where she'd buried her face. "You didn't look like you hated being touched when you were hugging _Chloe_ last night!" She almost sung Chloe's name and made this whole situation even more embarrassing as I could feel my cheeks redden. She looked up at me with a teasing smile on her face. "Oooh, are you embarrassed? Aww, that's so cute Beca!"

I pushed her off of me and grumbled, "Shut up," under my breath. She just laughed at me.

"So, did you see Chloe's reaction today? She was so totally jealous," she grinned at me mischievously. "She may not know it yet, but she is yours Becs."

I tried to suppress the grin by biting my lip and turning away, but I'm sure Stacie saw it if the little chuckle I heard was any indication. Her words left me too warm inside to feel embarrassment over it though.

"I saw it too. I was hoping I didn't imagine it."

"Trust me babe, you didn't. She is going to be putty in your hands before you know it."

With my back to her I finally allowed the huge smile to take over my face, and let myself hope a little bit as I remembered the way her body felt molded to mine. I kept the smile on my face as I turned back to my roommate.

"Hey, you want some pizza or something? I'll go get it."

"Why don't you just have it delivered?" Stacie asked me.

"I kinda want some air, so I thought a walk would be nice," I replied. "So, pizza or no?"

"I'll never say no to pizza, you know that Mitchell. Get me pineapple and pepperoni," she grinned evilly at me, knowing by now what I'm going to say.

"Eww, I don't know how you eat that shit. It's a crime against food," I said as I grabbed my wallet and walked out the door.

"Don't knock it till you try it!" I heard as I was closing the door.

I popped my head back in and said, "Never!" Before making a swift exit.

* * *

Chloe sat in her favorite spot in the library presumably to study, but instead she was lost in thought tapping her pen against her chin over and over again like an adorable ginger haired metronome. She was having trouble understanding herself. And Chloe Beale was never one to have trouble understanding herself. Chloe Beale is a confident, bubbly, affectionate individual that gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, trusted in the innate goodness of people, and knew that a nice, warm hug could heal just about anything. And that was the problem. A nice, warm hug was at the heart of her current dilemma.

From the moment that she saw Beca for the first time, she'd felt a connection to the diminutive alt-girl. And when she opened her mouth to sing Chloe was blown away. Never before had a song touched her soul the way Beca had that night. She'd spent countless nights lying awake in her bed replaying that performance in her head.

But the hug. Oh. My. God. It was like she was made to be in those arms. It was like coming home. It wasn't supposed to be more than a quick hug to show her affection, like she does with all of her friends. But as soon as she was in Beca's arms, she didn't want to let go. So she didn't.

She couldn't do this to Tom though. She loved him. And he was great. Just about perfect even. She loved him. And she was feeling guilty even though she didn't really believe she'd done anything wrong.

Why was she feeling this way? She had the perfect guy and the perfect relationship. Beca had Mary Elise. Never in a million years would Chloe have called that one. After getting over the strange bout of jealousy she'd experienced at the revelation that they'd been together, Chloe watched the two of them for the rest of rehearsal. To say there wasn't any chemistry was an understatement. Heck, they didn't even talk to or even really acknowledge each other for the rest of that practice. Honestly, it was kind of aca-awkward.

 _Whatever! I am with Tom dangit! Tom is great. Tom loves me. I love Tom. That's it,_ she thought. Decision made, she packed up her belongings a little bit aggressively and left the library.

It never occurred to her to wonder if her decision would be different if Beca didn't actually _have_ Mary Elise.

* * *

I saw her from across the quad as she was leaving the library and immediately forgot my pizza plans as I jogged over to her.

"Chloe! Hey, wait up!" I shouted at her. I saw her stiffen her shoulders as she stopped and turned to me and waited. "Man I'm out of shape," I panted. "Whew. Okay, hey, what's up?" I smiled widely at her still trying to catch my breath.

"Hey Beca." Uh oh. I know that tone. Nobody knows Chloe as well as I do, so I know she's uncomfortable.

"Umm, Chlo, is everything okay?"

Her lips tightened a little bit at my question. "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"Just asking because you don't seem very happy to see me."

Chloe sighed in exasperation. "Why should I be happy to see you Beca? I just saw you earlier today."

Ouch. I schooled my expression though so she wouldn't see that her words stung a bit. The silence between us became slightly uncomfortable as I tried to think of what to say to that.

"I gotta go Beca. I'll see you later," and she turned to leave.

"I'm sorry."

She whirled around and asked, "Aca-scuse me?"

"I said, I'm sorry. For whatever I did that upset you Chloe," and I let the hurt and genuine contrition show on my face.

Chloe was obviously thrown off by this. "You have nothing to be sorry for?" I'm sure by looking at her face that she didn't mean that to come out as a question.

"Is that a question or a statement?" I ask with my trademark smirk. Now she looks flustered and avoids meeting my eyes as she stutters her response.

"I- well- that is…" she runs her hand through her hair in frustration and forces her determined eyes to look at me once again. "Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend right now or something?"

I take a step back from the force of her words and frown in confusion. "Wait, what?"

"Mary Elise, Beca."

Understanding comes, but now it's my turn to be flustered. I knew this was going to bite me in the ass.

"That's not a thing," I say. I hope my conviction shows on my face because I happen to be telling the truth. "I am not with Mary Elise, I swear."

"That's not what you said at rehearsal!"

I run my hands through my own hair in frustration now. "Ugh! Stupid Beca and her stupid getting in the middle of things that aren't her business. You should have just kept your mouth shut." I'm mumbling to myself as Chloe looks at me like I'm crazy. I pull my gaze away from the sky where I'd been staring through that insane rant and look her in the eyes again. I almost lose my train of thought before it can get started when I gaze in the impossibly blue eyes in front of me, but I manage to get my words out. "I am not, nor have I ever been, with Mary Elise. I only opened my big fat mouth today because she didn't deserve to get kicked out of the Bellas. She wasn't with a Treble last night. I promise you that, but she also wasn't with me. I just can't say anymore without betraying confidences. Please believe me." As I said those last words I reached out and took her hand. She was biting her lip and avoiding my eyes as she squeezed my hand in hers.

"Thank you for being honest with me. I won't tell Aubrey," she said as she looked back at me. I saw her struggling to make some kind of decision as her eyes flicked back and forth between mine. After a moment I saw in her eyes that her decision was made. She squeezed my hand once more before dropping it and saying, "I'll see you later." She left me standing there staring after her replaying that conversation in my head wondering where I went wrong. Pizza long forgotten, I walked back home and stopped when I got to my room.

"God fucking dammit! I haven't been gone that long!" I shouted, as I gave my very best death glare to the sock on our doorknob.


	8. Oh Look, She's Walking Away Again

**Oh Look, She's Walking Away Again**

"Aubrey, can I talk to you for a second?" I ask as our last practice before the fall mixer comes to a close. I'm avoiding meeting her eyes and fidgeting nervously as everyone else files out of the building looking at me curiously.

"Sure Beca, what can I do for you?" Oh no. She's being overly formal which means she's in a bad mood. Not good for me.

I wait until the last Bella leaves and closes the door behind her before turning to look at Aubrey with a deadly serious expression on my face.

"You know this performance is going to be a mess right?" Way to be blunt Beca. Well done.

"Aca-scuse me? What the hell does a little alt-girl like you know about acapella? This is my second year being a Bella, Beca, and I've been to Nationals. I know what it takes. You don't."

I hold my breath to stop myself from saying something that would be really unhelpful, and let it out when I'm ready to speak.

"You're right Aubrey. I don't really know much about acapella. You do, and you're doing a great job as captain. But please just hear me out. I know music. This set list you have for us does not fit the current Bellas at all. It does not fit Amy's excessive exuberance. It does not fit Stacie's effortless sexiness. It does not fit Cynthia Rose's soulful voice and hip hop style. The Bellas of the past may have been cookie cutter Barbie girls that blended together seamlessly on the songs you've chosen. But it won't work for the current Bellas." I wait with breathless anticipation for her response as I meet her narrowed gaze with my own steely determination.

"We are going forward with the set list as planned. Goodbye Beca."

I watch her storm out with a deep feeling of regret. I tried.

* * *

"So how'd it go?" Stacie asks when I catch up with her back in our room. She's wearing a tight black miniskirt and a white button up blouse tied at the bottom to expose her midriff. She's putting on makeup in the mirror and it's obvious the hunter will soon be going on the prowl.

I roll my eyes and lather my words in excess sarcasm, "Oh, it went fantastic."

"That well huh? She'll come around. Just wait until the fall mixer and we are embarrassed off the stage. Maybe that'll get through to her." Stacie tries cheering me up. Ever since she'd heard some of my mixes she's been on my case about talking to Aubrey.

"Maybe. She's the most stubborn person I've ever met though."

"I know right!?"

I grin sheepishly at her and say, "I just want to show Chloe I'm worth it, ya know? That I can take this thing she loves and make it amazing."

Stacie's face softens immediately. "I know Becs. And you will."

"I hate that she's been avoiding me. We had that amazing moment, and then… ugh! I hate this. I miss my Chloe! I miss holding her and kissing her and telling her I love her. It tears me up inside every time I see her with him. But at the same time, if she's happy…" I shrug my shoulders and let the sentence trail off since the words are still too painful to say. I can feel the tears start to well up in my eyes and will them not to fall. One escapes anyway despite my best efforts and I lazily wipe it away while avoiding Stacie's pitying gaze.

"It's not going to come to that Beca. Hey, look at me," she grabs my chin and forcibly turns my head until I meet her eyes. "You and Chloe, I'm convinced that's meant to be. Okay? Don't go doubting it now. You've come way too far to give up when you're so close. I guarantee you she's just having a crisis of conscience. She loves her boyfriend right?" I give a weak nod. "Don't you think she'd feel guilty then if she started to develop feelings for someone else?" I give her a slightly stronger nod this time. "So, don't you think, in this highly plausible hypothetical scenario I'm painting you right now, that she'd start avoiding the cause of her guilt and refocus on the person she's committed to?"

There it is. I'm not sure why I didn't see it before because I know Chloe better than anyone, and that is _exactly_ what she'd do. I can't help the wide grin that forms on my face at this revelation, or the fact that as soon as Stacie lets go of my chin I launch myself at her for the first hug I've initiated myself since I can't remember when. Stace is obviously caught off guard but recovers quickly and hugs me back, rubbing comfortably up and down my spine.

"Thank you," I say, voice choked with emotion.

"Of course. I'm your freaking wingman, this is what I do." I can't help but chuckle at her response and let her go.

"Alright wingman. Go let the hunter hunt. Have a good night."

"You want to come?"

"Are you kidding? I see you in action enough already, I have had my fill." I respond with mock disgust.

"Oh babe, you ain't seen nothing yet," she winks and flounces out the door, but not before shouting a quick good night over her shoulder.

I turn my attention back to my laptop and try to finish this mix I've been working on, but it just isn't working. I decide to let it rest and go back to the mashup I've put the most time into. The one I've been making for Chloe. I knew all of her favorite songs already, so I decided to try and mash them all together and make something epic. It was 22 minutes long already, and it was impossible to tell where one song ended and another began. I was hoping she'd like it.

* * *

The fall mixer was upon us. And it was even worse than I feared. Aubrey wasn't as pissed as I'd expected though, just resigned. And as she dismissed us she kept giving me contemplative looks that I mostly ignored because I didn't want to get my hopes up that she was actually considering taking my advice. One thing was worrying me though, so I jogged after Chloe.

"Hey, Chloe, wait up."

She turned to me with a tense expression on her face and crossed her arms over her chest protectively.

"What's up Beca?"

"Are you okay?" I ask sincerely. Something about her voice was off while she was singing and I was worried her nodes were back. They had caused her quite a few problems when we were in 11th grade and she tried out for show choir at my encouragement. I thought it was lame, so there was no way I would participate except to be her cheerleader.

"Yes, Beca, I'm fine. I'll see you later," and she turned around to walk away again.

"Do you have nodes?" I blurted out, which caused her to stumble a bit and whip back to me with a stunned expression on her face.

"You looked like you were in pain, and your voice sounded scratchier than usual," I took a step closer. "So?"

She bit her lip and looked to be debating with herself for a moment as she avoided my penetrating gaze. At last she met my eyes with her own teary blue orbs, "Yes. I just found out."

"Oh my god Chlo, I'm so sorry. Are you going to get the surgery?"

"You seem to know an awful lot about the subject," she said suspiciously.

"Someone I really cared about had nodes. Eventually it got bad enough that she had surgery." The half-truth came easily. I didn't tell her though that the surgery hadn't gone well. My Chloe had lost most of her vocal range, and it had devastated her. The doctor that performed the surgery had been intoxicated, and ended up losing his license. Though that was little comfort at the time.

"Oh."

"Yeah. I'm here if you want to talk about it or whatever. I really care about you, ya know."

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say as she appeared to withdraw into herself again. Shit. But after what Stacie had said to me yesterday, I could see the signs and knew she was right. Chloe was waging an internal battle with herself. I needed to make it harder on her.

"Oh, come on Chloe. Every single one of these girls cares about you and would make the same offer if they knew. Let me be here for you. Please?"

"I-Beca," her voice noticeably softened when she said my name, but the steel was back as she said, "I have to go." She turned on her heels and left me standing there staring. Again. This was becoming a habit for us. As much as it hurt to watch her walk away from me, I did enjoy the view considerably.

* * *

It was a couple days later, and our illustrious co-captains were dragging us out to what they called a Riff-Off. Chloe was still avoiding me, but I was getting my revenge. Every single practice I pretended to be worse at the choreography than I actually was. So, Chloe had to walk me through it. Step by step. Often, with her hands on my body somewhere guiding me through it. It was delicious torture, and I loved every second. From her flushed face, Chloe did too. Though I was sure she was trying to ignore it.

Which brings us to the Riff-Off. The rules had been explained. The High Notes and Madonna cover band had been eliminated, which left us up against the Trebles. We sounded amazing all night. We were actually listening to each other, blending our voices and harmonizing better than we had since we'd come together as a group. It was beautiful. I just hoped Aubrey could hear it too.

Back and forth we went until Jesse jumped in with 'It Feels Like The First Time'. I had to admit, he was a damn good singer, and the Trebles were kicking ass. As I looked around at the rest of the Bellas, they seemed stumped. Watching Chloe, she was getting more and more dejected as the song went on and no Bellas jumped forth to interrupt them. Fortunately, I had a plan. And it just so happened to include one of Chloe's favorite songs to fool around to. Bonus!

"And I guess that's just the woman in you,

That brings out the man in me...

I know I can't help myself,

You're-"

It was here that I rushed forward and cut him off.

"You're making it hard for me,

All the songs on you requested,

You're dancing like you're naked,

Oh, it's almost like we're sexing…"

I was singing 'Too Close' by Next. The Trebles looked lost, only a couple of the Bellas looked like they even knew the song and the rest were making a passable effort of providing a background beat. Chloe though, she just lit up. Her eyes were locked on mine as I sauntered towards her, still singing the song we'd made out to so many times when we were younger and dancing in her living room like idiots. When I got closer I stopped in front of her, grabbed her hand, and spun her around so her back was pressed to my front. Since my hand was still holding hers, my arm ended up wrapped around her body and we danced like that while we sang, grinding up on each other, my voice directly in her ear, the reactionary shivers of her body easily recognizable due to her closeness. She looked over her shoulder at me and gave me a wicked grin before spinning back around in my arms as she got to the hook and pushing me away as she sang the next part.

"Step back you're dancing kinda close,

I feel a little poke coming through,

On you"

I blushed and chuckled as I pulled her back to me and sang my part, but the rest of the performance honestly was a blur as the rest of the Bellas took over with Chloe and I lost in our own little world grinding on each other and gazing into each other's eyes. It was frighteningly electric. I loved it.

"God I've missed this," I whispered. It was a reflex. It was like exhaling after holding your breath for so long you just can't help but let it out. It was also a fucking colossal mistake, and I realized it a split second too late. Chloe tensed up and pulled away looking at me strangely. I bit my lip and avoided her gaze. Suddenly the Bellas around us were cheering as it was announced the Trebles had been cut off. We'd won. But why did it feel so shitty? Oh right, because Chloe was once again walking away from me.


	9. Epic Mindfuck

**Epic Mindfuck**

She was once again in her favorite spot in the library, a pumpkin spice latte cooling on the table in front of her, tapping that pen repeatedly against her chin. She didn't even bother opening her textbook this time because she knew it would have been pointless.

'What the hell did she mean,' Chloe thought frustratedly to herself. 'Could she be feeling the same things that I am?'

Chloe melted into that dance last night. She just went with it. And it felt so freaking good to just let go and let herself enjoy the moment without the worries and fears and guilt she'd been carrying since Beca Freaking Mitchell had walked into her life.

She fought with Tom last night after the Riff-Off. He'd been there and he saw the dance she shared with Beca. She told him not to worry. There was nothing going on between her and Beca. And it wasn't a lie. Not really anyway. Because she wasn't going to let anything happen between her and Beca. She was with Tom. She'd made up her mind and that was that.

But Tom didn't let it go. He wasn't blind. He saw the chemistry the same as everyone else that was there. He saw the way she was looking at Beca, like the world stopped with her and everything else was inconsequential. It was hard to argue with his logic because that was exactly how she felt in that moment. Until Beca said the words that knocked her for a loop.

Because while they were dancing, Chloe was seeing much younger versions of her and Beca dancing in her living room to that very song. Holding each other close. Stealing kisses. Laughing, giggling, and looking happier than Chloe herself had ever felt, and happier than she ever imagined Beca could look. Hearing Beca tell her that she loved her. Hearing herself saying it back, and feeling that she had meant it.

And that was when Beca shattered the fragile illusion she was lost in. And Chloe was far more terrified than she was willing to admit. What the hell was happening to her?

* * *

It was Monday morning and I was fucking tired. I hadn't slept much since that stupid Riff-Off and the massive blunder I'd made two nights previously. I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling as I replayed our dance over and over in my mind. It was so perfect that it almost brought tears to my eyes. Then I got to the part where she walked away, and the tears actually did fall. Heavily.

The look in her eyes, it was only in hindsight that I recognized it. Fear. Chloe was fucking terrified of what I'd said, and I couldn't blame her. I sounded like a god damn crazy person. I mean, who says that? 'God I missed this'. Missed what exactly Beca? You're supposed to have only known her for a few weeks. And she's been avoiding you for a lot of that. So what exactly are you supposed to say if she ever talks to you again and asks what you meant?

"You're brooding," Stacie said from her vanity as she applied her makeup for the day. To be honest, I hadn't even known she was awake, I was so lost in my own thoughts.

"I am not brooding."

"Are so."

"Ugh, what are you, six?" I said as I rolled my eyes at her childishness.

"Nineteen, but you knew that already. And you are so totally brooding. Have been since the Riff-Off."

I was surprised she'd noticed. Stacie had spent most of the weekend with various boy toys (could have been girl toys, but I really didn't want to know either way). I don't really blame her though, I can't have been all that fun to be around. While the rest of the Bellas were celebrating, I was wallowing in regret and tequila.

"Can you blame me?"

"Depends. Why are you being so broody? That dance looked so fucking hot that I was tempted to join in myself," she said, giving me her signature flirtatious wink.

"Dude, eww."

She graced me with her most flirtatious smirk, "Aww… come on Becs. Don't be like that." Then she got serious and put her best friend face back on. "Seriously, what happened?"

"You saw it. It was sexy as hell. We connected. I held her in my arms. I sang to her. She sang to me. It was fucking electric. Everyone could feel it."

"I'm not seeing the problem babe."

"The problem… I ruined it. I opened my big, fat, stupid fucking mouth and ruined it. I said 'God I missed this' with her in my arms and she ran away. I scared the shit out of her Stace. I could see it in her eyes."

"Yeah. I won't lie, that's bad."

"See! So, maybe I am allowed to brood a little bit dammit!" During our conversation I'd sat up to talk to her, but at this point I flopped dramatically back down on my bed to again stare at our ceiling. It wasn't long until a pillow hitting me in the face caused me to sputter and sit back up glaring at my attacker. "Dude!"

"Get over it. You are Beca Fucking Mitchell. You have died twice, only to miraculously travel across universes to be reunited with the love of your life. And you are going to give up because you said something stupid and scared her a little bit? Come on Mitchell, you are better than that."

With her words hanging in the air, and leaving me dumbfounded, Stacie grabbed her purse and exited the room with a slightly superior look on her face. It seemed she finally believed me. With that knowledge, and the fact that she was right, I allowed the first smile in days to spread across my face.

* * *

I was rushing through the quad on my way to rehearsals after my last class of the days, two USB sticks clanking together, heavy in my pants pocket. I was slightly out of breath when I made it to our rehearsal space ten minutes early, but I knew Aubrey was going to be there and I wanted to talk to her briefly beforehand.

I grabbed the doorknob and pushed my way in expecting to find Aubrey alone, but I was surprised to find Chloe there with her. They were huddled in conversation in front of the white board master plan Aubrey had unveiled to us a couple weeks earlier, and from the look of it, they were not in agreement. Aubrey was staring Chloe down stoically, while Chloe was whisper yelling and gesticulating wildly. I waited a moment, so I wouldn't interrupt. Chloe was the first to see me, and she squeaked in surprise before blushing and looking anywhere other than me. Aubrey turned to me with that impassive, regal mask and dared me to say something.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to talk to you before practice started," I said with trepidation. Chloe looked up briefly, but seeing that I was talking to Aubrey and not to her she resumed her cataloging of the room's various impressive landmarks and avoided looking anywhere near me.

Aubrey looked briefly at Chloe with compassion, before turning that glare back at me. "Go on."

"Oh, um… just," I cleared my throat to give myself a second and organize my thoughts before continuing, "I just want to give you this. I won't give you a hard time anymore at all. I promise. If you just listen to this. Please?" I reached in to my pocket to grab the USB drives and extended my hand holding the one labeled 'Bellas'.

She stared at it distastefully for a full minute, a full minute where I held my breath waiting to see what she'd do, a full minute where Chloe first glanced at me curiously before turning the full force of her puppy dog expression on Aubrey. At the end of the minute she glanced at Chloe and, like me, couldn't withstand the full force of the expression she found there. So she sighed like a freaking drama queen and took the flash drive from hand.

"Fine. I'll listen to it, okay? But you better fulfill your end of the bargain."

"I will, I promise."

"Okay then."

"Yay," Chloe said, clapping her hands and bouncing like a kid. She looked at me with a huge smile on her face before rushing in to hug me. "She is going to love it. I'm so excited!" Then, remembering herself, or more likely that she had issues being close to me because let's be honest, Chloe didn't have issues with physical affection, she released the embrace and stepped back awkwardly still with a huge, though slightly more subdued, smile on her face.

"Wait!" I grabbed at her hand so she wouldn't get too far and placed the other USB stick into her palm, closing her fingers around it. "Umm. That is for you." She looked surprised as she backed away before looking down at what I placed her in hand. When she saw the small USB drive she looked astonished. Chloe looked up into my eyes and mothed a quick thank you. I just smirked at her and went to get in place as the rest of the Bellas started shuffling into the room.

"What up aca-bitches!?" Fat Amy yelled from across the room as she sauntered into the building causing most of us present to laugh out loud.

"Classy, Amy, Classy," Aubrey said, rolling her eyes. Clapping her hands to get down to business, she launched into her goals for the day.

I was half paying attention when I was abruptly jerked out of my reveries by a whisper to my left. "I've figured it out. You don't really belong here, do you?" I turned to see Lilly looking at me with a serious expression.

Panicking, I looked around to see if anyone heard her, and, seeing no one had, I turned back to her and hissed, "What are you talking about Lilly?"

"You are not from this world, Beca. You don't belong here," Lilly said with such a matter-of-fact tone that I had no doubt what she meant. I guess she saw the panic in my face her words had caused because she decided to take pity on me. "Don't worry, your secrets safe with me," she looked over at Stacie briefly, "and Stacie too I guess."

* * *

"Beca wouldn't want you to do this to yourself Chloe," the gentle tone did nothing to rouse her from the all-encompassing depression in which she'd sunk. "She would want you to be happy."

Chloe looked up and met her psychiatrist's eyes challengingly and said, "And how the fuck would you know? You didn't know her dammit!"

Dr. Swanson looked momentarily taken aback, before he made a couple of notes on that godforsaken notepad and turned his impassive gaze back to her.

"No, Chloe, I didn't. I wish that I had known her. From the way you've described her she sounds like she was a wonderful person. But Chloe," Chloe knew what he was going to say next. After seven months, the words still weren't any easier to hear. They still felt like a dull knife right to her heart. "Beca is dead. It's time to start moving on."

It was moments like these that Chloe wishes she were capable of being numb. Because those three words, 'Beca is dead', were still enough to rip her guts out and force her to weep in despair. She knew the only way she would be able to sleep tonight was with the pills her nurse would give her. As soon as she left this office, she'd walk down the sterilized white hallways, head to the nearest counter and ask for a sleeping pill before heading to her room and curling up in a ball on her cot crying to herself until the pills took away the pain for one more night. All the while she'd hear Beca's impossible voice in her head begging her not to leave.

* * *

 **A/N** **Hopefully the chapter title was accurate. :evil grin:**


	10. What The Hell Is A Starbucks?

**A/N I'm back pitches. Sorry this took so long. Had a bit of writer's block. Still not happy with this, but hopefully just getting this out there will get me out of my funk and back to writing. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think.**

* * *

 **What The Hell Is A Starbucks?**

Chloe was bouncing around her dorm room listening to the mix Beca had made for her while she folded her laundry to put away. This was the third time she'd listened to it today alone. The fact that the mix was almost an hour long meant that this was actually an impressive feat. She just couldn't get over the seamless, almost effortless, blend of songs. It was an amalgamation of genres and artists that just shouldn't work together at all, but she had woven all of Chloe's favorite songs into one cohesive whole that was so much more than the sum of its parts. She knew Beca was talented… but this. This was something else.

Chloe decided to do what she'd done since Beca had come into her life. She ignored the complicated issues, and focused on the things that kept her life simple. The simple facts were that Beca was sweet. She was thoughtful. She was tremendously talented. They had an obvious and undeniable connection. But that was the problem. Tom was a great guy and she loved him. If she indulged in this connection she appeared to have with Beca, where did that leave her and Tom? She couldn't do that to him even though it was getting harder and harder keeping Beca at arm's length. She was also being a bad friend. It wasn't Beca's fault that Chloe was having an existential crisis. So she decided to be a better friend. Someone that could put so much effort in to her to make a mix like this had to be worth any conflict of emotion the resulting friendship would cause.

The song was coming to an end, so she stopped her folding and dancing, bracing her hands on her desk as she listened. The beginning of the mix was loud and brash and sexy. The middle was bouncy and fun. But this was both her favorite and least favorite part of the mix. This slow, mournful and hypnotic crescendo that the rest of this song seemed to have inevitably built to. It was heartbreaking, yet hopeful. It was dramatic, but subdued. It moved Chloe's soul in a way that nothing in this world had ever moved her, and each time she listened it had brought tears to her eyes.

Chloe being Chloe, she ignored the obvious, but complicated question: How did Beca know every single one of her favorite songs?

* * *

We pulled up in the Party Van, as Fat Amy had dubbed it earlier that afternoon, to Reid-Simpson Technical Community College, the location of this year's regional acapella qualifying competition. We were running late because Amy had to, and I quote, 'take a massive dump,' so I didn't have time to fully take in the half-full parking lot or the small crowd of mostly disinterested faces that were walking toward the entrance of the venue. Feeling slightly self-conscious in my corny flight attendant get-up, I followed the rest of the Bellas inside.

The Sockapellas were currently performing. I admired their uniqueness and said so. It surprised me a little that I was the only one that could hear how good they were. It wasn't flashy. It wasn't emotionally moving. But I thought they came up with a badass arrangement and wrapped it up in a thoroughly entertaining, if ridiculous and super nerdy, performance.

Soon it was our turn, and I was noticeably less enthused than the rest of the Bellas, save Aubrey. But she always looked like the stick in her ass was making her nauseous. I noticed Chloe kept stealing surreptitious glances at me, but chalked it up to the fact that I still made her uncomfortable.

As expected, the audience looked bored to tears. The judges seemed to be nodding off. I was worried those Sockapella dorks were going to knock us out of contention, but only because I genuinely believed they deserved it. If for no other reason than their originality.

* * *

"Okay ladies, I'm calling an emergency meeting," Aubrey announced after we got back to campus in the Party Van to a chorus of groans from the assembled Bellas, and a murmured 'but I have to go bail out Bumper' from Fat Amy that I only heard because she was sitting right next to me. We looked at each other, startled. Amy because she realized I'd heard her, and me because I was, to be frank, shocked. The Trebles had gotten themselves arrested after getting into a brawl with a middle-aged acapella group after regionals. It was the funniest thing I'd seen in ages. I turned back to the front and pretended I didn't hear her. Shortly she did the same.

"According to the score sheets, the Sockapellas almost beat us. While we didn't do it _exactly_ as we rehearsed it," she said, playfully glaring at Amy, "I'm almost convinced that it was Amy's enthusiastic improvisation that actually saved us. That being said, it has become painfully obvious to me that our current routine is not going to win us Nationals."

The stunned silence that followed this announcement was almost a physical thing. I couldn't even bring myself to look around at the other faces surrounding me to gauge their reactions, though I did manage to look at the redhead standing next to Aubrey and realized that she was just as shocked as I was. She hadn't known this was coming either.

"Beca?" I jerked my gaze from Chloe to look back at our blonde captain with a questioning gaze. "What do we do?"

"Ha! I'm the captain now!" Amy said triumphantly as she intercepted the pitch pipe Aubrey had thrown towards me, standing up and raising her arms like a conquering champion. The nervous tension in the room was broken as everyone laughed at Amy's antics. She grinned at me, "Just kidding Shorty. Here ya go."

Taking the pitch pipe from Amy's outstretched hands I said, "Okay, let's remix this business." I stood up and moved to the front. Rubbing my hands together, I thought quickly. "Chloe, give me a song?"

"Titanium of course," she said, winking at me. Oh God. This woman was going to be the death of me.

I smirked at her, "You good to take the lead?" When she nodded I turned my attention to the other Bellas, working them through the background vocals I wanted them to sing. When I was satisfied, I nodded to Chloe to begin and kept my eyes glued to hers.

Her voice, as always, was beautiful. I was so lost in it, and her eyes, that I almost forgot to join. When I started seamlessly weaving in Katy Perry's Dark Horse with David Guetta's Titanium, I could hear the excitement in the voices in front of me. Chloe's eyes lit up, and she poured even more emotion into the impromptu performance. As the song was coming to a close, I looked around at the other Bellas quickly and motioned for them to start fading out while Chloe kept going. Locking eyes again with my favorite redhead, we ended the song harmonizing the last chorus of Titanium.

There was a shocked silence that followed the fading of that final note. "Holy shit!" Amy's soft exclamation roused the rest of the Bellas, and suddenly I found myself surrounded by a large group of squealing females led by a gorgeous redhead that grabbed me in a tight hug, burying her face in my shoulder and bouncing with excitement. When she eventually pulled away, it wasn't the familiar awkwardness or fear I'd grown accustomed to seeing in her eyes. It was more happy resignation and a warm smile. I just beamed back at her like a love-struck idiot.

* * *

I fidgeted nervously with the cup of coffee on the table in front of me. I had gotten here early so I could gather my thoughts before this meeting. I was beginning to regret that decision since the roiling in my gut was threatening to cause a reflex reminiscent of one of Aubrey's impressive displays.

I had been so focused on my, now probably cold, untouched cup that I didn't notice Chloe had entered the quaint off-campus coffee shop until she sat down across from me. I looked up startled at the intrusion, and then gazed fondly at the object of my heart's greatest desire. I was speechless for a moment as I lost myself in her impossibly blue eyes.

"Hi," she said shyly.

"H…hi," I stuttered impressively. I coughed to clear my throat and averted my gaze for a moment before turning back to her with a confident smile. "Hi."

"So, thanks for meeting me here," she said with a look I was unaccustomed to seeing on her face. It looked embattled and hopeful at the same time, and it unnerved me.

I searched her eyes for a moment before responding. Chloe wore her heart on her sleeve, so it was always easy to tell exactly what she was feeling. I was somewhat of an expert. I finally found what I was looking for and breathed a sigh of relief, catching her slightly off guard. "Of course." Knowing that she was here to apologize made me relax noticeably.

Visibly steeling her nerves, Chloe begins speaking, "So, I uh, asked you here to apologize."

I decided not to make this easy for her. "Apologize for what exactly?" It was a monumental effort to keep the smirk off of my face.

She looked pained for a moment before taking in a deep breath of air and saying, "I've been kind of a terrible friend to you."

Instead of replying I quirked an eyebrow and withheld a grimace as I took a casual sip of my, yep, definitely freaking cold, cup of coffee.

"I've been awkward and weird and you don't deserve that. I told you we were going to be friends, and then I kind of freaked out on you a few times. And it's not you. It's me. Ugh, that sounds like I'm breaking up with you. Which I'm so totally not. Hold on, I mean, dammit. Friends! Like, we're friends! I'm not breaking up with you as a friend?" Her voice kind of trailed off and inadvertently squeaked at the end like she was asking a question. She was about as red as I'd ever seen her and twitching like she wanted to do something with her hands but they weren't quite listening to her commands.

When I didn't say anything for a minute she shyly looked up at me from behind the hands she'd covered her face with. It was one of the cutest things I'd ever seen and couldn't help but laugh my ass off at her.

"Shut up!"

"I'm sorry, but you should see your face right now Chlo," I managed to get out between breaths as I was still laughing uncontrollably.

"You are such a dick," she pouted.

I reached over the table to grab her hand and smiled at her. "I couldn't help it. You just looked so adorable. I forgive you," I told her sincerely, giving her the smile she always told me was her favorite.

She looked deeply into my eyes smiling nervously before jerking her hand out of mine and sitting up straight. "Tom!"

Looking around and not seeing her boyfriend, I looked back at her with the obvious question unvoiced but visible in my eyes. I could tell she saw it because she started nervously wringing her hands again. "I'm with Tom. He's my boyfriend," she whispered.

I felt like positively dancing with glee. If I wasn't sure before, I was now. She felt this connection too. Why else would she feel the need to bring up her arm candy? Sure, the name Tom was officially my least favorite name in existence. And sure it ripped my heart out that she was with him and not me. But I knew know that I had hope.

"I know that," I told her, giving my most reassuring smile even though it felt like I was ripping my heart out to say it. "I hope you believe me, but there is nothing in this world I want more than your happiness. If he makes you happy, than I am happy for you."

She gave me a puzzled look, scrutinizing my face for a minute or two before giving me a slight nod and smile. "Thank you."

"So, how did you hear about this place? The coffee is pretty good," I asked her, trying to change the subject.

Now she looked downright confused. "How did I find…Starbucks?"

"Yeah," now it was my turn to look confused. "Did I say something wrong?"

She scrutinized me for a moment to see if I was messing with her I suppose before it was her turn to bust out laughing. "Have you been living under a rock? You've seriously never heard of Starbucks? Beca, its like, the number one coffee chain in America!"

Well, shit. I guess things are a little more different here than I thought.

* * *

Lilly sat underneath her favorite tree as she observed everyone around her. Beca had been avoiding her for days. Since Lilly had broken her own rules and said what she'd said. But it was the first time she'd ever run into someone even remotely like herself. She flipped through the pages of the well-worn notebook she took everywhere with her. It was usually a very easy notebook to memorize because of her carefully constructed rules meant to make her strange existence a little easier.

Rule one: the less you say, the less likely you will trip up and reveal yourself.

Rule two: don't make connections. The more people you get close to the more likely it is that you will reveal yourself.

Rule three: keep detailed notes and keep them with you at all times. Memorize them. Because the less you know about the life you are supposed to be living, the more likely it is that you will reveal yourself.

She had very good reasons for these rules. Lilly Anukamara lived a very unusual life. And for some reason, Lilly Anukamara had at some point decided to break her own rules. And this usually ended in disaster. Based on past experiences, she'd either end up institutionalized, on the run, or in a secret government facility to be used as a guinea pig.


	11. Where Am I Going With This Insanity?

**Where Am I Going With This Insanity?**

Chloe sat in a comfortable armchair by a window in the common room with her feet up on the cushion and hugging her knees to her chest, not really paying any attention to her surroundings, gazing dreamily out of the hospital window. Even through the metal grate covering the glass, the grass and trees outside were beautiful. Birds and butterflies flitting though the air, dandelions gently waving in the light breeze, brown leaves twisting lazily in the air as they fell from the large oak tree that stood tall just outside the window.

There was a thick antiseptic smell in the air that almost stung her eyes with its potency. Softly muttering patients surrounded her. Judith was screaming in a corner about her missing toothbrush while the orderlies attempted to hush her with no success.

Beca would have hated that tree. The thick, low hanging branches would have brought out Chloe's inner daredevil, and Beca would have put up token, but very real, resistance, before climbing the tree after her. She can see herself in the upper branches looking down at her soulmate, taunting her teasingly for being a coward, bribing her with kisses if she only she'd come up to retrieve them.

God she missed Beca's kisses. With just the lightest touch of her lips, her toes would curl, the butterflies would erupt full force, and her knees would get weak. She missed her smile, her touch, looking into her eyes and getting lost. She missed… everything. The big things, the small things. She missed the way they would fight, passionately. Voices raised and eyes blazing, wild gesticulations followed by broody silences. But there was always a moment. During every fight they'd ever had, there was a moment where their eyes would meet during a brief pause in the altercation and the overwhelming and unconditional love would be so tangible that the rest of the fight ending up being more subdued and quick to resolution.

She didn't even realize she'd been crying until a sob caused her entire body to shake. She hurriedly closed and wiped her eyes, and took a deep breath. She surreptitiously looked around at the rest of the citizens of this madhouse, hoping none of them had seen her. This was not the kind of place to show weakness. Luckily most of the other patients seemed to be in their own little worlds, except for one. The Asian girl who hadn't spoken to anyone since arriving was sitting across the room looking at her with an expression that was disconcerting but almost familiar. She was unable to look away as the girl slowly stood up and made her way over.

"Umm…hi," Chloe said to her with more than a hint of nervous trepidation.

Though her expression changed to one of puzzlement, she still didn't speak.

"Can I help you with something?"

The girl cocked her head to the side studying Chloe for a moment before opening her mouth to speak. She appeared to change her mind at the last minute though and closed her mouth and turned away. She only got a couple steps before she suddenly stopped, clenched her fists taking a deep breath and turned back around. "You're Chloe right?"

Chloe just gaped at her with widened eyes before she realized that she must have overheard her name from one of the other patients or orderlies. She schooled her features back into impassivity and slightly nodded her head. The girl took a step closer.

"Chloe Beale?"

Again, she nodded her head at the girl slightly, growing more obviously puzzled at the strange beginning to this conversation.

The Asian girl looked around the common room like she was looking for something, or someone, specific before meeting Chloe's eyes once again. "Is Beca here too?"

"Beca," Chloe whispered, and fought to get control of herself. When she was able to breathe normally again she looked up angrily at the girl in front of her. "Who the hell are you?"

"Right, you obviously don't know me here. This is awkward," she looked around as if trying to find a way to escape, and may have done exactly that if Chloe hadn't stood up and got directly into her face.

"I asked you a fucking question. Who are you and why would you say that name to me?" she hissed through her teeth furiously.

"Shit. Shit shit shit. Sorry! I am so sorry! I'm Lily. Anukamara. Lily Anukamara," Lily ran a hand through her hair nervously and looked even more uncomfortable than before. "I don't even know how to explain without sounding crazy," She looked around pointedly and continued, "and I guess it doesn't matter considering where we are. Shit. I didn't want to do this. I promised myself I wouldn't do this."

Chloe had the distinct urge to escape the situation she now found herself in. "Sit down Lily, and explain." Chloe sat back down, anxiety now gnawing at her gut, not taking her eyes off the crazy young woman in front of her, and gestured to the seat nearby which Lily accepted and reluctantly lowered herself into.

Lily looked around the room to see if anyone was paying any attention to them quickly before launching in to her story. By the time she was finished speaking, Chloe was feeling lightheaded and her heart was beating erratically. Through her blurred vision due to unshed tears Chloe rasped out, "Beca's alive?"

* * *

There are few things more annoying than crying babies. Or mosquitos that buzz around your head for half an hour before landing and attempting to suck out your life force, leaving behind an equally annoying itch that never stops begging to be scratched. Or telemarketers calling just when you sit down to dinner. Seriously, fuck those guys.

Watching some frat boy douche bag play tonsil hockey with the love of your life tops them all though. Despite what my frosty and sometimes hardened exterior would lead most to believe, I am not actually prone to homicidal tendencies. But in this moment I was very tempted to succumb to my baser instincts.

Pointedly looking away from the gut-wrenching sight in front of my eyes took a herculean effort, but was necessary for self-preservation.

"…and that's why it's the greatest achievement in cinematic history." I looked away from the wall I was attempting to glare a whole into, to stare uncomprehendingly into the eyes of my oblivious 'date'. "What do you think?"

 _I think you're an idiot. I told you an hour ago when you first mentioned movies that I don't like them, at all. And you've proceeded to talk about nothing but movies ever since. Why the hell did I agree to put myself through this bullshit?_ Turning my head to look at the happy couple my gut clenched painfully. _Oh yeah,_ I thought grimly to myself, _that's why. The 'plan'._

* * *

" _You should come on a double date with Tom and I this weekend Beca!" Chloe said to me after rehearsal that night. Her smile, like her words, seemed somewhat forced. I could tell she was jealous already, but I had no idea why._

" _A double date? Don't those usually involve two couples Chloe?"_

" _Yes? So, invite Jesse."_

" _Why would I invite Jesse?" I asked, though I tried to keep the confusion out of my voice._

 _Chloe raised her eyebrow and said uncomfortably, "Aren't you guys, like, dating? That's what he's telling everyone."_

 _The slight tightening of my jaw is the only thing that gave away my surprise and anger, and I was sure she missed it. Thinking furiously, I decided to use this to my advantage. If Chloe was already jealous, this would be a great opportunity to make that even worse. "He was supposed to keep it quiet, but yes. When did you want to do this?"_

 _She visibly deflated and said, "I'll call you and we'll set it up." The smile was obviously pained, and she waved goodbye as she walked off._

* * *

"Beca?" Jesse said again to get my attention.

I turned my attention back to him and he flinched slightly from my glare. "What do I think? I think you're a puffed-up, deluded, self-absorbed asshat. I can't do this anymore." I pointedly ignored the dumbfounded looks on the other two occupants of the table as I got up and left the restaurant.

I was fumbling with the keys to my car when I heard Chloe trying to get my attention from across the street. I ignored her, unlocked my car and slid in smoothly preparing to leave the scene. The headlight illuminated a very angry redhead with her arms crossed standing in front of my car when I started the ignition. I deflated knowing confrontation was now inevitable, and slowly climbed out.

Looking anywhere but at the glowering redhead in front of me I hissed out, "What Chloe?"

"What the hell was that Beca?"

Drawing in a deep and steadying breath I said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Bullshit." Hearing the bubbly girl in front of me using a curse word, I jerked my head up and stared at her in surprise. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Why did you just storm out on your boyfriend?"

I huffed out an incredulous laugh at her words. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Well, maybe not now, but if you go in there…"

"No Chloe, he's not my boyfriend. He never was."

"I don't understand. You said…"

I ran my hands through my hair out of frustration and made a very unladylike sound somewhere between a snort and a growl stopping whatever Chloe was about to say. "No Chloe, I never said he was my boyfriend. I just didn't argue when you said it."

"But… why?"

I rubbed my hands over my face and steeled my nerves for what I was about to say. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "To make you jealous."

Chloe looked visibly struck by my words and took a step back. "Why would you want to do that?" she asked breathlessly.

"I thought that would be obvious Chlo. I'm in love with you." I looked in to her impossibly blue eyes for a moment longer before smiling at her sadly, getting back in to my car, and driving away.


	12. Running Away

**A/N Nearing the home stretch. Hope you enjoy the ride as much as I have been.**

* * *

 **Running Away**

Chloe was pissed. And Chloe didn't often get pissed. So when she walked back in to the restaurant with a scowl on her face, the two men she'd left at the table knew something was wrong. Jesse gave Tom an apologetic look before escaping, leaving the redhead's boyfriend to face her alone.

"Baby, what happened? What's wrong?" Tom asked sweetly, reaching for her hand. For some reason the look on his face that she usually found adorable was pissing her off even more. She ran her hand through her hair avoiding his touch and closed her eyes.

"Nothing. Can we go please?"

"But you haven't finished your dinner. Can we just finish our date night? I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks."

She almost felt guilty. She tried to feel guilty. But she just couldn't make it happen. How dare Beca? Sometimes that girl made her so freaking…what? Angry? This was the first time she'd ever been angry at the short brunette. Uncomfortable? No. She's never been anything _but_ comfortable with Beca. The problem is that she's always too comfortable. Frustrated? Maybe. But there are many different kinds of frustration, and she did NOT want to go there right now.

She slumped back in to her seat next to Tom and started shoveling food in her mouth, barely tasting it. Tom was talking about something, and she nodded her head in the appropriate places, even attempted to smile. But her thoughts were focused elsewhere.

She wasn't stupid. Chloe knew herself well enough to know that she had at least a mild, yet still wildly inappropriate, crush on her friend. And she was worried that it was even deeper than that.

Eventually the date ended with a chaste kiss on her cheek just before Tom left her at her door. She honestly couldn't remember much of anything after Beca had left the way she had, so she was mildly surprised to find herself home.

"How was the world's most awkward double date?" Aubrey asked her in a teasing tone as she walked out of the kitchen drying her hands on a dish towel. Seeing the look on Chloe's face, Aubrey rushed over and kneeled on the floor in front of Chloe where she had sat down on the couch. "Oh my god Chlo, what happened?"

"Beca's in love with me," Chloe muttered numbly.

"Wait, you didn't know?"

Chloe snapped her gaze to Aubrey's immediately, "Excuse me?"

Aubrey looked momentarily taken aback before replying. "It's the world's worst kept secret that the hobbit has feelings for you Chlo."

Chloe's eyes flashed angrily, "Don't call her that!"

Aubrey held up her hands in surrender, "My bad! Seriously though, that girl has a major toner for you. I noticed it at auditions. Once her eyes found you in that crowd, she didn't look at anyone else."

"Aubrey," Chloe looked at her best friend with pained eyes, "what do I do?"

"What do you mean? You're with Tom. Besides, it's not like you could ever possibly have feelings for the midget."

"But what if I do?" Chloe asked in a whisper, averting her gaze as a tear trailed down her face. Aubrey could do nothing but gape at her speechlessly until the moment to answer had passed.

* * *

When I got home after that fucking awkward dinner, there was, unsurprisingly, a sock on our doorknob. I was itching for a fight, and when I stormed in to our room and found Stacie going at it with a fucking frat boy douche bag Tom clone, I lost it.

"Again Stacie, seriously?" I screeched at her, "I live here too you know!"

Stacie sat up abruptly not bothering to cover her nakedness, which for some reason just pissed me off even more. The clueless frat boy leered at her before going in to kiss her neck. Stacie pushed his head away roughly and said, "You should go Greg."

"It's Brett," he said smugly, before going back in for a kiss.

"Whatever," she pushed him away again. "You need to leave."

"Come on babe, you can't leave me like this!"

"Dude, she said get the fuck out, so get the fuck out!" I yelled at him before grabbing his clothes and throwing them out in the hallway.

"Crazy bitch," he mumbled before pushing past me to retrieve his things. "Can I at least put my clothes back on?" I just shut the door in his face and leaned my forehead against it breathing deeply. I was visibly shaking as the anger and adrenaline wore off leaving nothing but weariness and despair in its wake. It wasn't long until my body was shuddering with sobs.

"Becs," Stacie said softly from behind me, "what's wrong?"

I tried to respond, I really did, but I was sobbing so loudly that I couldn't get the words past the hitching in my chest. Stacie thankfully had thrown on some clothes at some point because she wrapped an arm around me from behind and used her other to direct my head to her shoulder. She whispered repetitious soothing words into my hair as she rubbed my back, and eventually I calmed down enough to tell her about my night.

"…and now I don't know how I can stay here. I mean, how can I?" I said to Stacie when I told her about my night. "I love her Stace. That means I have to let her go. She was happy before I got here and all I'm doing is screwing that up for her."

"But Beca…"

"No! Don't you get it? Maybe this was the whole point, ya know? I've been so selfish up until now. She is the most important thing in the world to me, and I need her to be happy even if it's not with me. I just thought we were soulmates, that her and I were inevitable," I chuckled sadly and quickly swiped at the tears that were still falling.

"Whatever you decide, I'm here for you, okay?" Stacie said to me as she grabbed my hand and held it tightly with both of hers. "But just for the record, I think you're wrong. You two are inevitable. It's just taking her a little while to see it."

I tried to find comfort in her words, but all I really felt at this point was dread. Because tonight I'd seen just how happy Chloe was first hand. I hated myself for possibly being the one to ruin that for her.

I waited until Stacie fell asleep, then I quietly packed whatever I felt was important in my backpack, stuffed my keys, wallet, and phone in my purse and left after leaving a note on my desk for her. I hopped in my car and drove back to the only other home I'd had since I was a child.

* * *

Chloe should have thought the girl sitting across from her was batshit crazy. Chloe probably should have smiled politely, nodded her head appropriately, and excused herself as soon as possible to escape the situation. Chloe also should have taken the story being told to her from a patient at a mental hospital with a massive grain of salt. But when you are grieving, and a patient at a mental hospital yourself, rational thought is unsurprisingly in short supply. And when the theme of the crazy story she's being told is a massive dose of hope, something that had been missing in her life since Beca's tragic death, she couldn't help but to buy in.

"Beca's alive?" Chloe asked again.

Lily shifted uneasily in her chair and avoided meeting Chloe's hopeful and tear filled eyes. "Well, yes. And no."

Chloe just waved off her non-committal and rephrased her question, "I get it, okay? Beca died here. I get it. But Beca is alive there? Like, really alive?"

"You are taking this surprisingly well," Lily remarked dryly.

Chloe just chuckled in response. "I guess it just makes sense to me after what I've been through. It's kind of the reason I'm here too. I remember being in the passenger seat of the car Beca and I were in. I remember dying, Lily. When I woke up, I was in the hospital. They told me I was driving and that Beca had died. So what you just told me, that there are other worlds than this one, makes a weird kind of sense to me."

Lily was looking at her strangely now. "You remember dying?" Chloe nodded quizzically. "I wondered what it was about you that looked different to me. You have the same strange, I don't know what to call it, as the Beca that I know. Aura? Essence? Whatever. I don't know what it is, but something about the two of you screams 'I don't belong here' to me."

"Can I go there?" Chloe asked quietly.

"Chloe…" Lily said warningly.

"You don't understand, Lily. She is my life. Since the moment I woke up in that hospital room and found out she was dead, I have been less than half of a person. I'm a husk Lily. I have been for almost a year now. Today, talking to you, this is the first I've felt hope, the first time I've felt alive in a very long time. So if there is even a possibility of getting to her, I'll do whatever it takes." Chloe looked desperately to the girl in front of her, pleading with her eyes.

Lily sighed and looked away, deep in thought. A couple of minutes later she looked back at Chloe after having made a decision. "You will be leaving behind everything here forever Chloe. And it will be incredibly painful, you might not survive it. And I can't guarantee it will even work."

Chloe just smiled brightly at her, "Is that all? Well, then I'm definitely in."


	13. Life Isn't Cupcakes And Rainbows

**Life Isn't Cupcakes And Rainbows**

Stacie enter the rehearsal space with trepidation, Beca's note folded in the back pocket of her black skinny jeans. Aubrey was the first to see her, and she rushed over when she noted that the tall brunette had been obviously crying.

"Stace, what's wrong?" Aubrey asked, grabbing Stacie's hands when she reached her.

"Beca's gone," Stacie replied morosely, a slight hitch in her breath.

"Well get that bitch back here, we have to aca-smash those treble douches!" yelled Fat Amy from across the room to a loud chorus of groans from the rest of the assembled ladies.

Chloe, however, was suddenly finding it hard to breathe. Clutching her chest, she asked with a shaky voice, "What do you mean she's gone?"

Stacie looked at her, and tried to find the anger she wished was there. This was the woman that caused her best friend to flee after all, but she just couldn't. Besides, Beca wouldn't want her to. She shrugged her shoulders as she averted her eyes, "She left. Last night. Packed up all of her things while I was sleeping and left a goodbye note."

"Where did she go?" asked Cynthia Rose.

"I don't know," Stacie replied, "She didn't say."

"Well shitburgers," Fat Amy said despondently, the rest of the Bellas nodding or voicing their agreement.

Aubrey was incredibly conflicted however. On the one hand, with Beca gone she'd get control of the Bellas back. The woman who had caused so much pain and confusion to her best friend would no longer be around to do so. And she would no longer have to deal with her abrasive attitude. On the other hand, she really believed that they had no chance of winning without her. Chloe and the rest of the Bellas obviously cared a great deal about her. And Aubrey herself had actually grown quite close to the talented brunette hobbit. Making her decision, Aubrey was about to voice her plan for finding Beca and bringing her back. Mary Elise, however, beat her to the punch.

"Why don't we ask her dad?" The question took most of them by surprise because Mary Elise, after almost being kicked out of the group on day one, hadn't really voiced much of an opinion about anything, seemingly content to just be part of the group. She was fiercely loyal and protective of Beca though, so maybe the insight shouldn't have been as surprising.

"I'll go," Chloe immediately offered, and started to run off before anyone could argue the point. Stacie quickly caught up to her and grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"Here," she reached into her back pocket, handing Chloe the note Beca had written, "You should read this." Chloe held the note in her hand looking at Stacie with a questioning look, then just nodded her head and ran off again.

"Hey, has anybody seen Lily?" Fat Amy asked into the sudden silence that had descended on the room.

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" she asked for the 14th or so time.

"Yes," was the immediate, and obviously exasperated, answer.

"Just, I warned you that there is no coming back from this either way. You do understand that, right?"

"Yes!"

Lily appeared momentarily taken aback from the harsh tone of voice, before she straightened back up. "Chloe, I just don't want to kill you. This could totally fail and best case scenario, you fucking die! Don't you get that?"

Chloe gazed at the possibly crazy, possibly misunderstood Asian girl in front of her, and gently grabbed her hand speaking softly, yet passionately. "I know Lily. I know what I'm asking is crazy. But look around you. I'm a resident of crazy town already. There is nothing left for me here. Nothing. My parents distanced themselves from me shortly after the accident when they thought I was crazy. I have no siblings or other close family. I haven't had a single visitor or phone call or letter in months. But even before all of this bullshit happened, Beca was my life. If there is even a miniscule chance I can get back to her, I'll take it, damn the consequences. Do you understand?"

Lily just nodded, and wiped at her suddenly moist eyes.

* * *

Chloe was racing through the halls of the English department, reading the name plaques on the door as she past. She'd never had a class with Dr. Mitchell before, so she didn't know exactly where his office was located. Seeing the brass nameplate affixed to the correct door, Chloe skidded to a stop in front of it and leaned over her knees to catch her breath. She unfolded the note that she still held in her hand and read it while her breathing began to even out. When she reached the end she had to bite her knuckles to stifle the choked sob that threatened to escape. "Damn you Beca Mitchell."

The knock on the door startled the middle aged man sitting behind the mahogany desk since he didn't have office hours at that moment, or any appointments scheduled. Standing up and crossing the room, he opened the door to find a vaguely familiar, and clearly upset and out of breath red head standing in the hall.

"Can I help you?" Dr. Mitchell asked politely, though he couldn't keep a touch of irritation out of his voice.

"Dr. Mitchell, sir, do you know where Beca is?"

He looks at his watch before looking back at her. "Well, classes are over for her for the day, so I'd guess she is either in her dorm room or with those acapella girls she hangs out with."

"No, Dr. Mitchell, you don't understand! Beca is gone! Do you know where she is?"

He seemed caught off guard by her outburst, then tapped his chin in thought. "Gone? Are you sure?" She nodded emphatically, "Okay then, she probably went home. I can't think of anywhere else she'd go."

"I need the address! Please, it's important," she begged.

"Hold on," he said after a minute of thought, walking over to his desk and grabbing his phone. Beca's phone went straight to voicemail, so he left a message, "Becs, its dad. Can you call me back please and let me know you're okay? I was just informed that you left and your friends are worried about you. To be honest," he glanced over at Chloe briefly before continuing, "After talking to this panicked redhead, I am worried too. Please, call me back." With his message complete, he hung up the phone and turned back to Chloe. "Would you mind telling me what is going on?"

Chloe threw her hands up in frustration and began to pace around the small office as she spoke, "I don't know! God! This is so frustrating. I was happy. My life was good, it was uncomplicated. I don't like complicated, you see? Then this unbearably frustrating brunette fireball bursts into my life and all of the sudden my life is nothing but complicated. She is rude and opinionated and closed off and adorable and sweet and understanding and selfless, and I can't just let her leave the way she did! I can't! I need to get to her, please, can you just tell me how I can get to her!" Chloe was again out of breath after her semi-coherent emotional rant.

Dr. Mitchell slumped down in the chair behind his desk and tapped his pen against the pad of paper in front of him repeatedly, considering her words. Then, without saying a thing, he wrote down the address and ripped the paper out of the pad handing it to her.

"Thank you," Chloe exclaimed before turning around and running out of his office.

* * *

"Last chance to change your mind."

Chloe looked at the girl knowing she meant well and smiled. "I will never change my mind about Beca." She turned back around and again was somehow taken by surprise by how far down the ground looked from up here. Her toes were just over the edge of the roof of the mental institution she'd been a resident of for months. Seven stories and a whole bunch of air separated her from the ground below. She closed her eyes and imagined Beca's smile. She saw Beca's hand in her mind's eye reaching out for her. Without opening her eyes and the hopeful smile still on her face she said, "I'm ready."

* * *

The GPS was sitting in her center console barking out directions mechanically as she drove quite a bit faster than she should have to reach her destination. She was shaking from fear or adrenaline and her vision was slightly blurry from the tears that were threatening to fall.

The ringing of her phone interrupted the robotic female voice. She answered the call with her car's Bluetooth. "Hello?"

"Chlo, where are you babe?" Shit. Tom. "We were supposed to go grab dinner after your Bellas rehearsal but you weren't here."

She hurriedly wiped her eyes of her guilty tears even though he couldn't see them. "Tom. I love you."

She could hear the smile in his voice when he replied, and it made her feel even guiltier, "I love you too babe."

"I love you, but I can't," Chloe sobbed and had to gather herself before she continued, "I can't keep doing this."

He sighed on the other end of the phone and she could hear the pain in his voice. "It's Beca isn't it?"

Chloe gasped out loud, "How did you…?"

"Chloe, we've been together for a year now. I'd like to think I know you pretty well. Ever since she showed up you've been different."

Chloe was obviously openly sobbing now, "I am so sorry Tom. I don't have words to tell you how sorry I am."

"I gotta go Chloe. Take care of yourself." And then he was gone. Chloe pulled over to the side of the road, rested her head on her steering wheel, and cried her eyes out.

"Fuck!" Chloe screamed at the top of her lungs banging her hands on the steering wheel repeatedly. When her frustration was spent she slumped back into her seat. "She better be worth it." Pulling back out into the road to continue her journey a small smile spread across her face. "She is worth it."

* * *

Chloe felt a hard push and suddenly she was flying. Eyes still closed, smile still in place, she reached out into thin air trying to grasp a hand that wasn't really there.

* * *

"In 3 miles, take exit 82 for Conyers…" Chloe had named the GPS voice Wilma because it kind of reminded her of Fred's wife on the Flintstones for some reason. Wilma told her that her exit was in 3 miles, so she proceeded to get in the right lane.

Chloe bit her lip nervously. She was less than fifteen minutes from a conversation that could possibly break her, and she had no idea what she was going to say, she just hoped it would come to her.

Seeing the exit sign up ahead, Chloe put on her turning signal. A slight glare caused her to shield her eyes as she slowed down for her exit. The glare, though, just grew brighter and brighter until she couldn't see anything but a bright light all around her. That's when she felt her tire catch the side of the road. Before she could do anything to stop it, her car was airborn, flipping end over end, resting upside down underneath the sign for exit 82.


	14. Where In The Hell Is Beca

**Where In The Hell Is Beca?**

The alarm on my cell phone went off at 7 in the morning. The alarm I set to make sure I got up for class on time. The alarm I had no fucking use for now that I was sleeping in the twin sized bed in my childhood home instead of the dorm room I shared with my promiscuous best friend. That alarm pissed me off more than I could put into words, especially since it was 7 in the fucking morning.

I'd gotten very little sleep. I had finally pulled into the driveway about five hours previously, crawled my tired ass up the stairs, and collapsed unceremoniously into bed still wearing the clothes I'd driven in.

My dreams had been plagued with a lifetime lived in misery. Watching a gorgeous redhead smiling brightly as she walked down the aisle in a beautiful white dress towards an attractive frat boy douche bag smiling smugly in a black tux. Having to sit through every painful god dammed moment of their honeymoon. Watching him smooth the sweat slicked hair back from her face as she concentrated on her breathing, bringing their first child into the world. First days of school. Anniversaries. Graduations. Growing old together. Every milestone. And my traitorous subconscious decided I should see it all. Fuck you subconscious. If you were here in my room right now I'd punch you in your backstabbing asshole face.

So the alarm on my cell phone went off at 7 in the morning, and when I grabbed it off the nightstand next to me I screamed in rage and threw it at the fucking wall where it shattered in to hundreds of pieces. I love her so much that all I want is for her to be happy. It doesn't mean that I have to be happy about it. It took an hour of sobbing uncontrollably into my pillow for me to fall back asleep.

* * *

Lily watched her fall, and she prayed to every god in existence that what they attempted would work. She'd gotten close to Chloe and the others in the Bellas despite her best intentions and the set of rules she'd laid out for herself. Looking wryly at her surroundings, she thought that clearly there was a Lily out there that ignored those rules.

Lily wanted to close her eyes. She wanted to turn away. But she couldn't. She could only watch in terror and an overwhelming amount of hope as the ground surged up to meet the falling body. It was a good thing that she didn't blink because just before the red head could hit the ground, she vanished in to thin air. She let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding, and a large smile broke out across her tear stained face.

* * *

It was a subdued and teary eyed group of Bellas that trudged into the hospital room that contained their friend. Seeing a battered, bruised, and broken redhead laying amid all of the wires, cables, and machines keeping her alive caused more than one of the girls to gasp out loud and most to begin crying anew.

"She looks so small," Stacie said quietly breaking the silence. She couldn't imagine what Beca would do when she found out. _God, please not let it be like the last time,_ she thought to herself, _I don't think Beca would ever recover._

"Yeah, she's a force of nature. She always seems so much larger than life," Cynthia Rose added.

"Compared to my sexy fat ass, Chlo is tiny. Not as tiny as Beca, but still tiny," Fat Amy said, hoping to break at least a little of the tension.

"Has anyone heard from Beca?" Stacie asked. Each girl shook their head and looked down at their shoes. "We need to find her, she needs to be here."

"I have her dad's number, I'll try to get ahold of him," Mary Elise offered. When the rest of the Bellas gave her strange looks she attempted to defend herself, albeit a little awkwardly. "What? I just, one day I couldn't find Beca so I asked her dad where she was. It wasn't weird or anything. He's my comparative lit professor, alright? Stop looking at me like that!" Her face was bright red and she quickly left the room to make the call. The girls all gaped at her retreating form before breaking out in nervous laughter.

"Doesn't she know it's hopeless?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah, Beca is totally gone for Chloe. Mary Elise has no chance," Ashley responded to a chorus of agreement from the other girls around them.

Stacie looked around at her friends, slightly bewildered. They knew?

"I don't think it's like that you guys. Mary Elise just has some really weird hero worship thing going on," Fat Amy supplied. "Like when I made a living in Tasmania mermaid dancing and Gertrude Cole complimented my inverted tail swish." Puzzled looks met her strange pronouncement, so she attempted to clarify. "Gertrude Cole? The number one mermaid dancer on earth?" When the puzzled looks continued, she shrugged it off. "Whatever, you guys suck."

Silence reigned for a few minutes until Stacie broke it again, "I'm afraid to hold her hand. She looks so fragile."

"She's stronger than anyone I know. She'll pull through this." The strong and uncompromising voice of their Bellas co-captain brought smiles to everyone's faces as she walked into the room. If Aubrey was this confident, there had to be nothing to worry about.

Minutes earlier Aubrey had remained in the hallway to get an update on Chloe's condition from the doctor with the redhead's parents.

Listening to the doctor drone on through a list that included broken ribs and arm, punctured lung, fractured skull and the pressure they'd had to relieve by drilling a hole into her head, the only thing that really registered with the blonde were the doctor's final words.

"She's in a coma right now. We don't know if she will ever wake up. I am so sorry."

Chloe's parents were still out in the hall openly sobbing and grasping tightly to each other.

* * *

"Ben, it's Mary Elise," she whispered breathlessly into the phone.

"Whoa now, I know something must be up if you're calling me Ben and not 'Doctor Mitchell'," Beca's dad said into the phone. "Is everything okay?"

Hearing his voice caused her heart to stutter in her chest, but now was not the time for her childish crush. "N-no. Umm… there's been an accident. I need to get ahold of Beca immediately."

"An accident? Is Beca okay?" he'd sat up straight and began to panic. She could hear it in his voice and inwardly winced. She should have worded it better so she didn't worry him.

"Yes, Beca is fine. Chloe was in a car accident on the way to see her, and she's in bad shape. Beca needs to be here."

"Oh my God, is she okay?"

"She's stable right now I guess, but it's not good."

"Have you tried calling her?"

"Yes, her phone keeps going straight to voicemail. But the girls are calling her every few minutes anyway just in case the call finally goes through. And we've left at least 30 messages."

"Okay, I'll text you the home number and the address. If you need anything else don't hesitate to call for any reason," he said, and added almost as an afterthought, "that, uh, goes for the rest of the girls too."

She blushed and smiled, "I'll do that. Thanks _Doctor Mitchell,"_ she put a flirtatious emphasis on the words and giggled when he coughed awkwardly and hung up the phone. She really liked the effect she always had on him when she called him that. A moment later, the text came through breaking her out of her inappropriate thoughts. She rushed back to the hospital room.

* * *

"All I'm getting is a busy signal. Someone is going to have to go get her," Stacie said to the rest of the Bellas after she'd tried calling Beca's house phone repeatedly for the last ten minutes. The rest of the girls just looked at her impassively. She nodded her head resolutely, getting the hint immediately. "Got it. I'll be back with her as soon as I can."

Each girl hugged her in turn, telling her to be careful but to hurry back. Aubrey, though, lingered longer than the rest. "Bring her back Stacie. Chloe needs her."

Stacie squeezed the gorgeous blonde woman in her arms and for once didn't have the urge to flirt tenaciously with her. Instead, she held Aubrey tenderly and softly stroked her back with her hands. "I promise I will Aubrey. Chloe is going to be okay," she felt Aubrey choke back a sob at her words and knew immediately that she hadn't told them everything about what the doctor said. Instead of being angry, or more worried than she already had been, however, Stacie put steel in her voice as she tilted her head to whisper in Aubrey's ear. "Chloe is going to be okay. I promise. We are standing right in the middle of an epic love story, and nothing is going to get in their way. Nothing. Do you hear me?"

At Stacie's words, Aubrey allowed some of the tears she'd been holding in to fall, but they were of hope and not fear. She tucked her face in to Stacie's neck almost involuntarily and softly placed her lips there, and let them linger longer than she meant to. Stacie, for her part, felt herself warm up at the intimate contact. For the first time that she could remember though, it wasn't in arousal. It was something, somehow, more. And she decided that now was definitely _not_ the time to explore whatever it meant. She gently pulled back from the angel in her arms, wiped the tears that did nothing to mar the beauty in front of her, and leaned in to place a lingering kiss at the corner of Aubrey's mouth. She left the blonde stunned and blushing as she walked away.

* * *

I was sitting on the living room couch watching my dad's Friends DVD collection and eating Rocky Road ice cream when I heard a knock at the door. Grumbling, I stood up and removed the Georgia Bulldogs blanket I'd been huddled under, and shuffled to the front door and mumbled under my breath, "Can't be left the fuck alone today to wallow, can I? God dammit, I'm coming!" I yelled when the knocking grew louder and more insistent. "Stace?" I was stunned when I opened the door to see the statuesque brunette on the other side, and seeing the tear stained face of my best friend I knew immediately something was wrong. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Beca, let's go sit down. We need to talk for a minute, okay?" Stacie forced a smile, and I saw through it immediately.

"No, what is it? The Bellas? Did something happen to my dad? Is it," _oh God, please no,_ I thought internally, _please, please no, "_ Is Chloe okay?" Stacie winced, but immediately tried to cover it up. My stomach hollowed out immediately and I almost fell to my knees but Stacie caught me and held me tightly. I was already shaking.

"Beca, she's okay. Calm down. She was in an accident," I groaned out loud and the tears were falling freely. My worst nightmare. My fucking worst nightmare was coming true before my eyes. I thought last night was bad. I thought last night was torture. This, though, this was many orders of magnitude worse. I couldn't lose her again. I just couldn't! "Beca! Listen to me okay?" She shook me slightly and raised her voice, drawing my attention. "She's in the hospital. She's alive. We need to get there. Right now. Do you understand?"

I nodded weakly into her shoulder and she led me outside to her car. The words I wanted to say kept tumbling around my head, but I couldn't get them past my lips. I was too afraid of the answer. Eventually though, when rolling hills and shades of autumn foliage gave way to highways, shopping centers, and traffic jams, I was able to choke the words out. "Is she…is she going to be okay?"

Stacie bit her lip before answering, clearly trying to decide how to respond. "Epic love story, remember? Nothing is going to get in the way of that." I chuckled despite the growing pit in my stomach, and smiled gratefully at her. "She was pissed about your note by the way. She was actually on her way to your house to tell you how she felt."

"Wait, what!?" I exclaimed, finding myself blissfully happy for a moment before remembering the situation and sobering slightly. I set my jaw, and squared my shoulders. Epic love story indeed. Nothing was going to stop me from getting to her. And, god dammit, I was going to keep her ass here with me.

* * *

 **A/N So, the thing with Mary Elise and Beca's dad may squick some of you out. Sorry about that. Kinda needed to add it though. Hopefully the bit of Staubrey I added made up for it. Please review. Good or bad, it keeps me motivated to write knowing people are at least reading this drivel.**


	15. Dear God I Hope This Works

**Dear God, I Hope This Works**

The car pulled to a stop in a dimly lit hospital parking lot. Stacie had barely put the car in park before I opened the door and sprinted inside, only to realize I had no idea where the hell I was going and waited impatiently for Stacie to catch up.

She led me upstairs, down bland white corridors that smelled of bleach and ammonia, past hobbling patients and crying families waiting for news of their loved ones. She stopped outside the door I assumed was to Chloe's room, and all of the sudden I was afraid. Terrified. Inside that room was Shrodinger's cat. Until I opened that door I could imagine Chloe was behind it smiling and laughing. I could imagine her singing with the Bellas that no doubt were in there with her, waiting for the doctor to come in and send her home. But until I opened that door, Chloe could also be gone. The fear from that final thought forced me to yank open the door and wanting to sink immediately to me knees seeing the condition my bubbly redhead was in. I stumbled over to her bedside and gently lifted her hand to my face, nuzzling it and kissing her palm.

"Oh God, Chloe," I whispered through the sobs shaking my body. The Bellas had all gone silent when I arrived, and moved out of the way. I didn't notice them at all. "You look like shit sweetie." I kept holding her hand in my own, and used my other hand to gently trace the contours of her battered face. "You can't leave me. Do you understand? I lost you once, and I can't do it again. I just can't. So you are not allowed to leave me."

To no one's surprise, Chloe didn't respond. I turned to Aubrey, knowing I would get the clearest and most concise answer from her. "What happened? What's wrong with her?"

As Aubrey relayed the story, and chronicled her injuries, I followed along with my eyes, placing a small kiss at every spot that was mentioned. "There, all better now right Chlo?" Looking at the girl lying motionless in the bed next to me, beautiful despite her condition, I had the sudden urge to sing the song Chloe and I would sing to each other like fools, and I grinned at the memory.

"Fly me to the moon  
Let me play among the stars  
Let me see what spring is like  
On Jupiter and Mars  
In other words, hold my hand  
In other words, baby, kiss me"

I hadn't noticed until then, but the Bellas had begun harmonizing with me. And it was heartbreakingly beautiful.

"Fill my heart with song  
And let me sing for ever more  
You are all I long for  
All I worship and adore  
In other words, please be true  
In other words, I love you

Fill my heart with song  
Let me sing for ever more  
You are all I long for  
All I worship and adore  
In other words, please be true  
In other words, in other words  
I love you"

A faint pressure where I still held her hand brought a genuine smile to my face as hopeful tears rolled from my eyes. I turned to look at the Bellas arrayed around us. "She's going to be okay."

* * *

"You're looking better today Chlo. How are you feeling?" I asked the redhead lying in bed in front of me. I continued talking as if I'd actually received an answer. "Well, I'm not the only one who's noticed, ya know. Aubrey told me just this afternoon how you're looking much healthier lately." I paused as though waiting for a reply before I continued talking. "I know she hasn't been around as much lately. But she's been kind of busy. I don't know if she's told you, probably not knowing Aubrey, but she has a new someone in her life. They've been dating for the last month, since shortly after your accident in fact, and it looks pretty serious."

I smirked to myself. Serious indeed. I've never seen Stacie smitten before. It was so out of character that I was still having trouble adjusting. But the change has been good.

"Alright, hold your horses. I won't keep you in suspense anymore. It's Stacie. Aubrey and Stacie, can you believe it? Your best friend is dating my best friend. As soon as you wake up we'll be forced to go on awkward double dates with those two weirdos." The truth is, I would love nothing more in the world. Because even an awkward double date was still a date with this gorgeous ginger angel lying in front of me. And she was gorgeous. All of her superficial injuries had healed in the last month and a half. Cuts and bruises slowly faded until you'd never know they'd been there in the first place. Her bones were mostly healed as well.

It was that pesky brain injury that kept us in this hospital room. The damned coma that me coming back, day after day, night after night, spending as much time in this room as I could before I'd inevitably have to leave to eat, or shower, or sleep. I hadn't gone back to school yet. And my dad was being super supportive by funding my little sabbatical.

"I made you another mix. It's full of songs I'm almost positive you've never heard. It took a lot of research because you're a damned music junkie, but I think it was worth it. I wish I could see your reaction to it when you hear it." I pulled out my laptop and set it next to her on the bed, pressing play.

I was always surprised when I had an emotional reaction to my own music. But sitting here listening to this mix I'd sunk hours into making for Chloe and seeing no reaction whatsoever from the redhead, I cried.

With the song still playing, tears in my yes, I left the hospital room and propped myself against the wall outside the door.

I was surprised when I heard a throat clearing next to me, so I turned and met the saddened eyes of Chloe's little brother Billy. We'd bonded over our shared misery, and it was almost like it was before. Like he was the little brother I'd never had.

"Hey Billy."

"Hey Beca. How is she?"

How many times have I heard that question over the last six weeks? How I've come to hate it. I couldn't completely keep the grimace off of my face when I answered. "She looks better." How many times have I answered it the same way? Because it was true, every day she looked better than the day before. That didn't mean, however, that she was any closer to waking up.

Billy visibly grimaced at the answer the same way I'd grimaced at the question. He hated this as much as I did. "Beca…" he started and trailed off averting his eyes, looking pained. He chewed his lip for a moment while I waited for him to say whatever it was he wanted to say. Finally, he looked back at me with tears in his eyes. "I overheard my parents. They are talking about removing her feeding tube."

I felt like I'd been punch in the gut and gasped audibly for a breath. "No!" I wheezed out. "No, they can't!" Even though I knew, as her parents, they absolutely could. I knew it didn't look great. I knew that most patients didn't wake up after two weeks, and if they did they would most likely have some kind of disability. But this was Chloe, and no one was going to take Chloe away from me again. "They won't. I'll wake her up." I looked at Billy with a fire in my eyes he hadn't seen before, and he began to look at me with something I hadn't seen in about a month. Hope.

* * *

"Okay, does everyone have this?" I asked the assembled Bellas outside the hospital doors. We'd gone over the plan repeatedly for the last couple of days, rehearsing it over and over again until it was perfect. But we were out of time. This was it. Her parents had scheduled the removal of her feeding tube. It would be removed in a couple of hours. It was now or never.

Aubrey answered for them. "Beca, we got this. I don't know where you came up with this plan, but it feels right? You know?" Aubrey smiled warmly at me and reached for my hands. "She'll wake up Beca. How can she not? She has an epic love story to conclude."

"I told you shortly after we met that I would help you get the girl. So what are we waiting for B Mitch? Let's go get her." Stacie said, and winked at me. I met the eyes of each Bella in turn, and found them all smiling the same hopeful smile.

"I think she's had enough of a beauty rest, don't you? Let's go wake sleeping beauty," I smirked at them, and turned to enter the hospital.

Patients, nurses, doctors, they all looked at us curiously as we trooped past them to Chloe's room. The plan was simple. Chloe loved music. All kinds of music. But there were certain songs that she couldn't help but to sing along to, no matter what. We were going to sing them all to her. And we weren't going to stop until she was singing with us.

And if that plan failed, we would continue on to plan B. Because while there were certain songs that Chloe couldn't help but sing along to, there were also certain songs that she couldn't help but to turn off immediately, groaning in frustration. All it would take is the first verse of 'Barbie Girl' before my gorgeous ginger sat up in bed and started throwing things at us until we shut up.

We gathered around her bed, taking in her peaceful expression and healthy glow. The steady beeping of her heart monitor almost soothing, reassuring us of the fact that she was still with us. I steadied my nerves, taking a deep breath, and mentally ran through the entire planned set list. I knew the girls arrayed around me would not give up. We were prepared to sing through the entire two hour long program I'd developed.

I pulled the pitch pipe from the pocket of my blue jeans, took another moment to gaze at the face of the angel before me, and blew into it. "1, 2, 3…"

* * *

It was soothing. She could just lay there forever with the sounds washing over her like a warm flowing river. The familiarity was a balm. A comforting touch in the void. She didn't have to reach for it, she didn't have to fight for it; it was just there. Brushing against her mind with the softest of touches.

She basked in it. Like a lazy summer day, a cool breeze, gooseflesh pimpling her skin and the sun warming her flesh.

She wanted to swim towards it. To get closer, allow the warmth to seep deeper into her bones. She wanted to reach out and touch it, grasp it in her fingers and drape it over herself like a blanket. So that's what she tried to do. She tried to reach out and grab it, but it was ephemeral. It slipped through her fingers like sand. So she let it go. Contented herself with the warmth, and basked in it.

* * *

It wasn't working. I looked at the heart monitor and saw no change, but after staring intently at Chloe for so long and seeing no reaction whatsoever, I wasn't surprised. Disappointed, but not surprised.

I signaled the end of the current song and bit my lip. We'd been singing for over an hour, it was time for a change. I looked around at the Bellas and confirmed what they were all thinking. "Plan B. Let's do this." The girls all grinned, this was going to be fun.

* * *

The warmth was gone, and she missed it. What replaced it was the same, but not. A warm summer day, but with bees stinging your skin. A cold sweet tea under a blistering sun, but so sweet it gave you a stomach ache.

She wanted it to stop. This was wrong. This was a bandaid she wanted to rip from her skin and toss in the garbage. This was fingernails on a chalkboard, fork scraping a plate, cat yowling in the middle of the night kind of pain. And it was pissing her off.

She clawed towards the god awfulness she was being assaulted with. She felt like she was crawling through Jello, but she fought through it. Something, or someone, was going to die today for forcing this unpleasantness upon her.

The closer to the surface she got, the louder and more painful the noise became. But it only pissed her off more.

She was aching all over. Her head felt like it wanted to split in half. She had to clench her eyes because the light beyond them was far too bright. Through a thoroughly unused and raspy throat, she hissed, "Shut…up…"

* * *

 **A/N She's awake. Yay! We're almost done here. Next, and last, chapter is written. I'll probably post it on Friday. Starting to think about my next project. It won't be in this fandom I don't think. If you guys have any suggestions about which fandom it should be, let me know.  
**


	16. The Course Of True Love

**The Course of True Love**

It was a whirlwind of activity after that. Doctors and nurses rushing in and out. Her parents and little brother were called immediately, and hadn't left her side since, Aubrey and I in the room with them. The rest of the Bellas were forced to leave, but they were in the waiting room talking to some hospital administrators about what the hell had happened.

Chloe had fallen immediately back to sleep after her little outburst, but even I could tell she was simply sleeping instead of comatose. Her vitals and brain activity were fluctuating, for one. And she was tossing and turning, mumbling in her sleep. My stomach would flip pleasantly and I would blush profusely each time I heard her say my name.

I wasn't sobbing, but since hearing Chloe speak for the first time in a month and a half tears had been rolling continuously down my cheeks. I didn't even notice them, so focused was I on the object of my deepest affection.

"Beca, honey?" Mrs. Beale gently touched my shoulder from behind to get my attention. I'd been sitting next to Chloe's bed, probably in the way of the doctors and nurses bustling to and fro, since she'd awoken, holding her hand like it was a lifeline. Mine this time, instead of hers. "Dr. Benson needs to check on Chloe. Let's go for a walk okay?"

I bit my lip. The last thing in the world I wanted to do right now was leave this room. Leave Chloe. But I squeezed Chloe's hand softly, nodded my head, and followed Anita out of the room. She led us to the hospital cafeteria where she paid for two cups of coffee and led us to a table against the wall.

I didn't look up from the cup of coffee that had been slid across to me, spinning it around slowly on the table. I took a small sip, and waited. I wasn't sure why, in this moment, I was so afraid until she began to speak.

"She's going to be okay. I don't know how you did it, but you woke up my little girl," she was fighting to be strong, I could tell. When I looked up, she was furiously blinking away the tears that desperately wanted to fall. "I gave up on her Beca. I gave up on my daughter. I'd been convinced that she was lost to me forever." Anita Beale looked so small in this moment. So fragile, like the slightest touch would break her. I looked back down at my cup of coffee, giving her a small semblance of privacy in which to grieve for the daughter she almost lost. I didn't know what to say, and it was some time before she was able to speak again.

She reached across the table to grab my hand. I looked up at her to find that she was looking at me fiercely. "Thank you Beca. I will never, ever be able to repay you. You refused to give up, and you brought her back to me. If there is ever, ever anything I can do for you don't hesitate to let me know, okay?"

Her gratitude was making me uncomfortable, so I averted my gaze again, focusing instead on my fascinating cup of hospital coffee. I wanted to be so angry at her. She almost took Chloe from me again. She almost ripped my soul completely out of my body. But she was a mother. She was _Chloe's_ mother. I couldn't even imagine how difficult and painful her decision must have been. I had to force myself to see that she was trying to do the right thing, for herself, and for Chloe.

"Actually, there is one thing," I smirked, and then looked back up at this woman who'd once been like a mother to me. "I would appreciate it if I had your permission to date your daughter."

Chloe's mother burst out laughing, wiping at the tears escaping from the corners of her eyes. I was reminded in this moment how beautiful Chloe's mother was, and how beautiful Chloe would look years from now. "Dear God Beca, I needed that," she looked wryly at me. "I wasn't aware you or my daughter needed permission to date."

"Well, no, but she is important to me. The most important thing in the world, in fact."

"Rebecca," I groaned at her use of my first name, but she just smirked at me, "We've gotten to know each other well over the last month and a half. I know you're the type to ask forgiveness instead of permission. So why are we having this conversation?"

I was starting to get worried. I mean, I just wanted her permission to date Chloe. It shouldn't have become a thing, but it seemed like she wanted to make it one. But why?

"Because we both know how important Chloe is to me," Anita nodded, grin still in place, "But over the last month and a half, you've become important to me too. You and Billy and James. I just want to go into this thing with Chloe with all of us on the same page, you know? This isn't some frivolous, fleeting thing. I am going to treasure her. I will treat her the way she deserves, and I will do everything I can to make sure that she's happy. No matter what."

"You're an idiot, you know." I jerked back as if slapped. She just rolled her eyes at me. "Beca, I saw the note. I know why you were at your house instead of at Barden, and I know why Chloe was on her way to see you. So of course I know you would put her happiness first."

I bit my lip and looked away, tears welling in my eyes. She reached across the table to grab my hand again. "That's why I'd be overjoyed if you dated my daughter." I snapped my gaze back to hers. "Don't look so surprised Rebecca. All a parent wants in this world is for their children to be happy. If I knew nothing else about you other than what I read in that note, it would be enough. But I've also seen how utterly devoted you've been since Chloe was…" She coughed instead of saying the word. She still had trouble saying it, and I didn't blame her. "You've been unflappable, completely convinced Chloe would make a recovery. And in the end, you gave me back my daughter," she sniffled and squeezed my hand tighter, "You gave me back my daughter, so of course you have my permission. I couldn't have picked someone more perfect for my little girl."

* * *

It was another day before Chloe woke again. I was, as usual, sitting in the chair next to her bed, holding her hand.

"Beca?" She said softly, squeezing the hand in hers. I startled immediately awake, looking Chloe over for any for injury or discomfort before seeing the smile on her face and calming.

"Hey Chlo," I smiled back at her, "I've missed you."

Alarmingly, Chloe began to cry. "God Beca, I've missed you too. So much."

I searched Chloe's face, confused. As far as I knew coma patients weren't fully aware of their surroundings. So, though it had been a month and a half since I had been able to talk to Chloe, to Chloe it should have only felt like a day or so. "What do you mean Chlo?"

Chloe bit her lip and decided to take a chance. "When are you going to take me on that helicopter ride? You did promise."

I jerked back in surprise, eyes widened comically, and sputtered. "But…you…"

Chloe slumped in relief. "You remember. Thank God."

The noise that came out of my mouth must have been close enough to the sound of a question because she continued.

"I've spent the last nine months or so in a mental institution," Chloe scrunched up her face cutely, "and I've also attended Barden University. I remember dying in that car accident and waking up in the hospital learning that you died instead. But I also remember never having known you. I have two full sets of memories, and it's very disorienting. Just before the accident they hit me. I remembered everything," She paused to take a breath. "It was so hard to keep going. I don't know how you did it."

I looked away, guilty. "I didn't."

"Oh."

I looked back at her with beseeching eyes, begging her to understand. "I couldn't Chloe. I couldn't live without you. I had nothing. No one else. My dad had even given up on me. I lasted six months without you. That was all I could take, and then the dam broke."

"Hey," at some point during my little speech I'd looked away, afraid of what I'd see in Chloe's eyes. I didn't know if I could handle seeing disappointment or revulsion, "Hey, Beca, look at me." So I did. All I saw in those gorgeous blue eyes was tenderness and understanding. "I lasted a week," I blinked in surprise. "A week before I got in a bathtub and slit my wrists. That was where my mother found me. That, and the fact I was talking like a crazy person, got me locked up for my own good. I'd been there ever since. I was beginning to believe them." Her breath hitched, and then she started sobbing. I crawled up in bed with her and pulled her to me.

"It's okay now. Everything is okay." I kept repeating over and over until she'd calmed.

"Beca, Billy was gone. He was just, he didn't exist there. My parents had divorced before he was born, and… I almost believed them. I almost believed that I was crazy! But I remember him here, I have a brother, right?" Her voice sounded so small and broken that my heart ached for her and what she'd been through. It was so much worse than what I went through.

"Yes Chlo. You have a brother. And he's just like I remember him." I chuckled and she sighed in relief, "I actually bumped into him, literally, my first day here. He didn't know who I was, obviously, but it was what led me to hope you were alive here. If we'd never met, we would have never been in that car accident together."

She was holding me tightly when she said, "God I missed this." She pulled back slightly to wink at me, which caused me to giggle, and settled herself back against me.

"So did I Chloe. So did I." I basked in this feeling for a moment longer while trying to put it into words. I could almost feel all of my broken pieces being put back together. The world was tilting on its axis again, but only to put things back the way they were supposed to be. "And as soon as you're out of here, I'll take you on that helicopter ride." I said, smirking into her hair.

* * *

When her parents got off work hours later and came to the hospital, they found Beca and Chloe still cuddled up together on the hospital bed fast asleep. James pulled his wife into his side and they both smiled at the couple lying so close together.

"You're alright with this, right James?" Anita ventured cautiously. "With Chloe and Beca…"

James chuckled and said, "You know, from the moment Chloe was born I never thought there would ever be someone good enough for her. I liked Tom. I really did, but he still fell short of what she deserved. But look at that girl, Anita. If there is anyone in the world I would venture to say is good enough for our little girl, it's Beca." He looked at his wife with a mischievous expression. "Hell, I'm almost worried that Chloe isn't good enough for Beca."

His wife playfully slapped his arm, "Oh stop it. You know they are perfect for each other."

James laughed quietly to avoid waking the sleeping girls and pulled his wife in tighter. He gazed lovingly at his daughter, and the brunette who'd become like a daughter to him in the last month and a half. "Yes, I do."

* * *

Lilly had fixed it, at least in this universe. To be fair, she had never needed to do anything before. Beca and Chloe were together in every universe she'd ever been 'snapped' to. Well, except in that one crazy backwards universe where somehow Beca had begun dating that Treble Jesse. Lilly didn't need to intervene there either because eventually Beca had come to her senses.

Destiny, fate, all of that was bullshit. Your life is your own, your decisions are yours to make. But the course of true love is inevitable. Because who in their right mind would fight the pull of the other half of their soul? Lilly knew for a fact that Beca and Chloe, no matter the universe, and no matter the lives they'd lived there, wouldn't. They'd always end up together.

 **Fin**

* * *

 **A/N This isn't exactly the ending I had planned when I started writing this. After all I'd put these two through, I kinda gave them the Bechloe version of the Wayne's World Mega Happy Ending. Haven't decided if there will be an epilogue because I almost feel the story ending here almost feels right. Feel free to disagree and let me know if an epilogue is wanted. For now, though, I'm marking this as completed.**

 **I need to say a sincere thank you to all of you who followed, favorited, and especially reviewed. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!**

 **This is Whikky, signing off. Peace out Pitches.**


	17. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

The room felt like it was closing in on me. My vision was going blurry and black around the edges and I felt extremely light-headed. I was bent over with my hands on my knees and trying to stop myself from passing out on this disgusting public bathroom floor.

"I can't do this. Oh God, I can't do this," I whispered over and over again, breaths rapid and heaving.

"Beca? Hey, Becs, you in here," came the voice of my best friend, Stacy, though it didn't fully register as I just kept repeating myself non-stop. "Oh my God, Beca, are you okay?" She must have seen or heard me. She rushed over and pulled me into her arms and rubbed my back in soothing motions. "I've got you. Hey, it's okay, I've got you. Everything is going to be alright."

I buried my head in her shoulder and after a while I calmed down enough to speak. "Stacy, I can't do this. I have to go."

Stacy pulled away slightly and grabbed my shoulders looking me directly in my eyes. "Do you know how heartbroken that girl would be if you backed out now?" She pointedly looked down at the gorgeous dress I was wearing and back up into my eyes.

"But…" I trailed off, not knowing what I wanted to say, biting my lip self-consciously.

Stacy looked into my eyes for a few moments longer while I squirmed uncomfortably under her penetrating gaze. Finally, she breathed out. "Okay."

"Okay? Okay what Stace?"

"Okay, let's go. We can sneak out of here and hop in my car. I'll drive you home and call to let them know that you couldn't do this."

"But…" I trailed off again, unable to think of anything but they look on her face when she realized I wasn't coming. It broke my heart.

"I mean, she'll probably cry for hours, maybe days, but she'll get over it, right? So we'll just pop out of here and head home. Maybe order a pizza. What do you say?" I couldn't believe Stacy was being so nonchalant about this. The complete disbelief must have shown on my face because raised an eyebrow at me and continued. "Oh come on Becs, you are my best friend. If you say you can't do this, then we won't do this. If you say you can't walk, I will carry your pasty ass out of here myself. Hell, if you told me that the moon is falling out of the sky, after all the other crazy shit you've told me over the years, I will grab you and pull you into the tightest hug imaginable so I wouldn't die alone without even looking up."

I was speechless. Completely gobsmacked. "Dude…" I pulled Stacy back into a rib cracking hug, so I wouldn't have to look at the face that was about to make me cry. "What would I do without you Stace?"

"Well, for one you wouldn't have gotten that gorgeous redhead."

I chuckled knowing how right she was. "Alright, let's do this."

"You sure Becs? I meant what I said," Stacy pulled back again to look me in the eyes to gauge my sincerity.

I took a final deep breath to center myself and nodded. "Let's go."

* * *

The wedding was beautiful. Something right out of a movie. I looked over at the love of my life, the gorgeous and bubbly Chloe Beale sitting to my left.

"I love you, ya know."

"Dork, I love you too." Chloe smiled that smile that always made me a little bit weak. "Mary Elise looks so happy. I know you didn't really want to be her maid of honor, but you have to admit that she makes your dad happy too."

I suppressed a shudder. Mary Elise and my dad. So gross. Mary Elise is my new step-mom! Oh my God. What have I done?

"It's almost time for your speech, are you ready?"

I looked briefly over at Stacy who gave me a brief nod, and I breathed a silent sigh of relief. I looked back at my ginger goddess and winked. "Ready as I'll ever be."

Chloe, caught the byplay between me and Stace and I could see the suspicion in her eyes. "Beca, what have you got planned?"

"You'll see," I smirked mischievously. I stood up and tapped my fork against my wine glass without taking my eyes off Chloe. Breaking eye contact I reached for the microphone that Cynthia Rose handed me and began my speech. "When I joined an acapella group a few years ago I had no idea how close I would grow to the other girls. I'd always been kind of a loner. But these girls grew on me. I started to think of them more like family. And today, with one of those sisters marrying my dad," I looked over at Mary Elise and my dad, and saw how happy they were. Despite how weird it still was for me, I was genuinely happy for them, "Today, Mary Elise really does become family. I can't express how happy I am for you both and I wish you all the happiness in the world."

The applause was polite and there were a few moist eyes in the room. I bit my lip in impatience, however, because they were late. And now I was standing up there like a buffoon holding a microphone I wasn't speaking into while most of the wedding guests were fidgeting, waiting for me to pass it to the best man. Finally after what felt like an hour, but was actually closer to fifteen seconds, I heard it and let out the breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. Showtime.

I turned to the love of my life and saw that she had a puzzled look on her face. "Chloe, a long time ago I made you a promise." I gestured behind her as the noise got louder. She turned and her hand covered her mouth in surprise. When she turned back around I was on one knee and holding a small box out to her. "For a long time I thought I'd lost the chance to keep that promise. I thought I lost you. I don't want to live another minute without being able to call you my fiancé. I don't want to spend the rest of my life without you as my wife. Chloe Marie Beale, will you marry me?"

Her reaction wasn't at all what I was expecting. She glared at me and pointed at the box in my hand. "Beca Mitchell, if there is chocolate in that box instead of a ring I'm breaking up with you."

Chuckling breathlessly I opened the box to reveal the engagement ring. It took a while, but I managed to find the same ring I'd purchased for her last time. "No chocolate babe. So? Will you marry me?" Gesturing behind her at the helicopter I'd rented and smirking I added, "If you say yes, I'll take you on that helicopter ride I promised you."

Biting her lip and nodding with tears in her eyes she answered me, "Skinny dipping after?"

"Duh!"

"How could I say no to that?" Chloe got down on her knees with me and before taking the ring she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me with the crowd applauding behind us. I didn't even notice when the best men plucked the microphone out of my hand, so lost in Chloe at that moment.

"I guess it's my turn," he said with a self-deprecating chuckle, "though I don't know how I'm going to follow that speech…"


End file.
